Ohel co-presidents Mel Zachter and Moishe Hellman with benefactors Harvey and Gloria Kaylie

By Chanita Teitz

We had several singles last Friday night, and some of the conversation of course centered on shidduchim. Many things have changed since we got married. In our day, we met other singles on our own or through a friend. Today most singles meet through shadchanim. As a real estate broker, I am essentially a shadchan for bringing buyers and sellers together, and I’ve done the same with people.

Today, everyone needs a résumé, like you’re going for a job interview! And the questions that people ask are at times comical and other times outrageous. What we need to remember most of all is to act respectfully and sensitively to singles, especially older singles in our communities.

Some things have actually changed for the better. During the past few weeks, I have seen full page ads running in a variety of Jewish publications regarding Dor Yesharim. This is an organization that does genetic testing for the most prevalent recessive genetic diseases affecting the Jewish population. In our day we didn’t know about genetic testing or how to prevent genetic diseases. There are tests for both Ashkenazi and Sephardi populations.

We all have about 23,000 genes which are part of our DNA. DNA can change, and these mutations are generally harmless. We all have between five and ten potentially deadly mutations in our genes, but it is only when both a husband and wife have the same mutated gene does a genetic problem arise. It is only then that a child of theirs could be born with the actual disease.

Dor Yesharim was formed to prevent these devastating diseases from continuing to affect Jewish children. By testing every girl and boy before they start shidduchim, two carriers can be prevented from marrying and passing these dreaded diseases to their offspring.

It took many years of research to isolate the genes in all of these diseases and to discover a blood test that would give accurate results. All information is confidential and all that is exchanged are identification numbers. A phone call is made with the identification numbers, and a search is made regarding the genetic compatibility of the couple. Dor Yesharim calls back right away with results, saying they are either compatible or not compatible. We can learn from this that when we are involved in a shidduch, everyone should get back to each other quickly so no one is left hanging. The actual test results of either party are never revealed, to preserve utmost privacy.

For families where a child is afflicted with a genetic disease, their siblings can safely marry without fear of having an affected child, thanks to the genetic testing of organizations like Dor Yesharim.

Let us not make the “shidduch crisis” any more difficult than it is for many singles. Get tested. Most yeshivos and girls’ high schools offer testing to their seniors. Exchange identification numbers either before a first date or in the very early stages of dating. That way, emotions don’t interfere if the results are not compatible. In the event that a couple is already further along in their relationship, get genetic counseling.

As we are looking forward to the miracles of Chanukah, let’s make some miracles of our own–healthy future generations in Klal Yisrael.

Rabbi Nosson Greenberg Addresses Shevach Students At Rosh Chodesh Kislev Breakfast

In honor of Rosh Chodesh Kislev, Shevach students were invited by their G.O. to a “royal” breakfast in their multipurpose room. The room was transformed into the courtyard of a palace with imposing black gates around the four sides of the room and gold palace doors gracing the front wall. The theme of the event was “kol kevudah bas melech penimah,” paying tribute to the inherent royalty of all the “princesses” in the room.

The Shevach G. O., which is headed by Avigayil Kramer, Shoshana Moskowitz, Toby Feder, Avigayil Marcus, and Etty Langer, under the guidance of Shevach educational administrator and G.O. coordinator Mrs. Devorah Kovitz, did a superb job of bringing the theme to life. Many details were incorporated, such as a décor of pink and gold tables, which further enhanced the atmosphere of royalty in the room. The girls enjoyed bagels and spreads and little pink and gold cookies, after which they were treated to a choir, orchestrated by sophomores Tova Levinger and Bryndel Wurem, and sung by the entire 10th grade. The song beautifully conveyed the thought that all bnos Yisrael are true princesses.

The highlight of the breakfast followed, in the form of an address given by Rabbi Nosson Greenberg, rav of Khal Machzikei Torah in Far Rockaway, who connected their theme to Rosh Chodesh Kislev. He captivated the audience with his distinct style, which included real messages, a bit of humor, and his telltale English accent.

Rabbi Greenberg spoke about the role that Jewish women have as the princesses of the Jewish people. He noted that it is interesting how Shlomo Hamelech describes the bas melech–as the daughter of the king. The bas melech comes from a lineage of royalty. The queen herself may be a commoner married to the king, but the princess by definition stems from royalty. So too the Jewish people trace their heritage way back to the forefathers and are therefore rooted in the highest form of “royalty.”

The daughter of the king is unique and special on the inside. She feels the world is hers. She can do what she pleases and make choices that befit her. On the one hand she needs to maintain humility, and on the other hand she functions in a world that is at her feet. So it is also with the Jewish young lady today. She has unlimited potential and the world is hers. She is humble when necessary but pushes herself to attain goals when possible. The power comes from within her. That is why Shlomo Hamelech uses the expression “penimah,” internal. Life is not only what is seen on the outside.

Rabbi Greenberg connected his lessons at the end with the concept of winter, which on the outside looks bleak, cold, and unyielding. But we know that spring comes soon after, when the inner potential blossoms again. We all have a little “winter” within us. But we have the ability to improve and blossom to our vast potential. His words were enjoyed by all, and he left the students with much to think about and take with them.

The breakfast culminated with a humorous skit created by freshmen Shifra Gewanter, Ilana Adler, Hodaya Alcoby, Shoshana Mandelbaum, Bracha Mirsky, Sara Press, Rachelli Robinson, and Rina Steinberg. The skit was performed by freshmen Goldy Max, Nechama Ribowsky, Miriam Romm, and Leah Scheiner. In a surprising twist, the skit “broke out” the exciting news of Shevach’s upcoming Shabbaton at The Lakehouse Hotel.

Kudos to the Shevach G.O. and Mrs. Kovitz for putting together this special morning. The event was a smashing success and everyone truly had a ‘ball’!

Upcoming Events

Chazaq and Congregation Beit Eliyahu Present Rabbi Paysach Krohn. In memory of Eliyahu ben Sonya Tova. Admission free for men and women. Sunday, December 3. Sushi and Chinese food will be served at 8:00 p.m. Lecture at 8:30 p.m. Congregation Beit Eliyahu, 71-52 172nd Street in Fresh Meadows. For more information, call 718-285-9132, e-mail Info@Chazaq.org, or visit Chazaq.org.

Chazaq’s Fifth Annual Dinner. Monday, December 4. Reception 6:30 p.m. Dinner 7:30 p.m. Leonard’s Palazzo, 555 Northern Blvd in Great Neck. To RSVP, please visit Fidelipay.com/ChazaqDinner, call 718-285-9132, or e-mail Info@Chazaq.org.

Bringing Chanukah Home and The Essence of Hiddur Mitzvah. Lander College For Men Beis Medrash L’Talmud and Chazaq proudly present lectures by Rabbi Eli Mansour and Rabbi Yonason Sacks on Tuesday, December 5, 8:30 p.m. Free admission. Men and women welcome. Refreshments will be served. Location: Lander College For Men/Beis Medrash L’Talmud, 75-31 150th Street in Flushing (4th floor).

Third Annual Yahrzeit Lecture in Memory of Rav Joseph Grunblatt. The elaborate breakfast will be held on Sunday, December 10, 9:00 a.m. The speaker is Mr. Allen I. Fagin, executive vice president and chief professional officer at the Union of Orthodox Congregations of America (OU), former president of the Queens Jewish Center, and a dear friend of the Grunblatt family. Mr. Fagin will speak about “Galus–Harsh Reality or Crucible of Refinement: Some Reflections on the Teachings of Rabbi Joseph Grunblatt, zt’l.” Reservations for the breakfast and lecture are $25 for members / $30 for not-yet-members. Sponsorships are $50 (includes one reservation) and $100 (includes two reservations). RSVP deadline is Thursday, November 30, by phone: 718-459-8432, email: office@myqjc.org, or MYQJC.org/event/Grunblatt-memorial-2017. Location: the Queens Jewish Center, 66-05 108th Street in Forest Hills.

Havurat Yisrael Presents a Pre-Chanukah Talk and Meet Event for Singles. Ages 30’s-50’s. Wine and cheese will be served. Lecture and discussion with Rabbi David Algaze on “The Keys to Happiness” Motzaei Shabbos, December 9 at 8:00 p.m. Havurat Yisrael is located at 106-20 70th Avenue in Forest Hills. For reservations call 718-261-5500.

Prof. Smadar Rosensweig, The Fall and Rise of Shevet Levi. Rabbi Israel D. Rosenberg Educational Institute Of Congregation Etz Chaim presents Shiur Ha’chodesh for women by women, Wednesday, December 6, 7:30 p.m. at Congregation Etz Chaim 147-19 73 Avenue in Kew Gardens Hills. Suggested donation: $5. For further information, please contact Hadassah Waxman at hwaxman@earthlink.net or 718-261-0766.

Young Israel of KGH Youth Department’s Annual Chanukah Party. Featuring the Parrot Rebbe. Sunday, December 10, 10:15 a.m.-12:15 p.m. Bird Show will begin at 10:45 a.m. sharp. Snacks, crafts, and games. Cost: $5/child; $20/max. YIKGH members save $2 on admission. For information, e-mail youth@yikgh.org.

Young Israel of KGH Teen Ice Skating Event. Monday, December 18, 11:00 a.m. World Ice Arena, 131-35 Avery Avenue in Flushing. Sixth grade and up. RSVP to youth@yikgh.org by Monday, December 11, for group discount.

Chanita Teitz is a real-estate broker at Astor Brokerage in Kew Gardens Hills, serving KGH and surrounding neighborhoods. For all your real-estate needs, call her at 718-263-4500 or e-mail chanita@astorbrokerage.com.

 

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