By Zahava Goldstein, MS

As parents, we encourage our children to problem-solve and try to figure things out on their own. So how can we teach the difference between “telling” on a sibling, classmate, or peer and “tattling” on them? We can help make the differentiations for our children by teaching them the following distinctions.

Telling Tattling
Keeping someone safe Getting someone in trouble
Behavior is on purpose Behavior is by accident
Behavior is dangerous Behavior is harmless
You need help from an adult You can solve it on your own
The child feels the issue is important The issue is not important

Parents can help their child distinguish between the two by acting out different scenarios and helping the child identify the difference. For example, if your child says that his brother took his ball away, as a parent you can help him figure out ways to problem-solve on his own without tattling on his sibling. Another example would be your child coming and saying that he asked his brother three times nicely to return his ball but now he feels he needs the help of his parent. Children need to believe that the parent will always be there to support and help them. When they feel that trust, they are more willing to try and work problems out on their own.

As a working parent of five, I can attest that the tips provided are tried and true. We at Positive Parenting Plus welcome all feedback and will answer all questions posted to the 5TJT. Wishing all the readers a positive parenting day.

Positive Parenting Plus is a private parent-coaching agency founded by Zahava Goldstein, a certified school psychologist with a dual master’s in school psychology and special education and over 20 years of experience evaluating children, as a school counselor, and as a parent adviser. All reader comments, questions, and feedback are welcomed by Positive Parenting Plus (positiveparentingplus@gmail.com). Please “like” on Facebook @zahavagoldstein and follow Instagram @positiveparentingplus for daily parenting tips.

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