From The Other Side Of The Bench

Had he only listened to his wife and exercised some patience, he never would have been so humiliated. His plan was to humiliate his enemy, but when the dust settled, he was the one that had to parade his archenemy around town, screaming out, “This is what shall be done to the man whom the king wishes to honor.”
His wife told him to wait till the morning to present himself to Achashveirosh’s palace to plan the hanging of Mordechai. But Haman was so consumed with baseless hate fueled by ego that he went to the palace that very night so that he could grab the king’s attention first thing in the morning and carry through on his plan to hang Mordechai.
Had he not been there, had Haman waited till morning, he would not have been there when the king arose in the middle of the night. He would not have been there when the king, unable to sleep, asked someone to read to him, and that person happened to read the portion of the king’s history book that recorded Mordechai foiling the plot to kill the king.
When it was revealed that nothing had been done to compensate Mordechai for that heroic act, Achashveirosh somehow heard a rustling in the bushes, and coincidence of all coincidences, there in the middle of the bushes, in the middle of the night, was the man who had come to plan the downfall of Mordechai. Because Achashveirosh was also impatient, that man was immediately dispatched to be the very one to give honor to his enemy and parade him around town. The oppressor became the victim and the intended victim was given the greatest of honors. If he would have only listened to his wife he would have been home in bed and someone else would have had to schlepp Mordechai around the town. If he would have only listened to his wife he would have been home instead of making a commotion in the bushes.
If he would have only listened to his wife he would not have undergone such a devastating role reversal in a matter of minutes. He was indeed an anointed guard who had the king’s ear and would have been able to rid the city of Shushan of Mordechai. But now he was the very one who had to honor Mordechai. How would it look if the next day he was the one who told the king it was time to hang Mordechai?
Rustling in the bushes in the middle of the night is not what anyone wants to be doing. Believe me, I have firsthand experience.
It was a few years back. I went out of town for the bar mitzvah of a family friend. The lovely Jane stayed at home with our children. I feel comfortable stating that this concept of going out of town and staying at homes of total strangers is a concept most unique to our people. It is such a display of unity and warmth by Jews all over the world and something we should be very proud of as a people.
At any rate, the celebrants put me up, as the expression goes, at the home of a lovely family who happened to live way too far away for my liking from the home where we all would be eating Friday night’s Shabbos meal. I hate walking long distances, especially at night in the dark in a strange city. I consoled myself with the thought that at the conclusion of the meal all of the out-of-town guests would walk home to our hosts’ homes as a group.
The only problem was that as we exited the home of the bar mitzvah boy’s family, everyone turned right and I turned left. I had to walk by myself as everyone else was staying south while I had the lonely and frightful pleasure of staying to the north.
Making matters worse was that there had been a string of home invasions and muggings in the area specifically on the last three Friday nights prior to that weekend. There were cop cars patrolling the area, which made me feel somewhat safer until I noticed the helicopter circling above with that big bright light shining down from the sky. It was then that I realized that they were actually looking for some burglar those very moments that I was out on the streets.
Prior to leaving for shul on Friday evening, my hosts informed me that they would be leaving the key to the front door on the driveway under the stand of a basketball hoop. That was all fine and dandy in the daylight, but when I returned Friday night at 10:45 I could not find the key. There was no light in the driveway and I was left to fumble in the dark under a basketball hoop for a key, and a very small key at that. For 20 minutes I moved that stand back and forth and from side to side. I simply could not find the key. I then cut my finger on the side of the base. All the while the police helicopter was hovering overhead, its bright white light shining down, looking to capture a burglar who was probably engaging in the very sort of activity I was engaging in, rustling through the bushes of a total stranger’s home.
If they would have seen me, they would have fired at me and/or handcuffed me. I didn’t even know the name of the family whose front lawn and bushes I was rummaging through.
I knocked on the door and no one answered. Figuring they were sleeping, I returned to the front to continue my search. I finally found the key without being collared by the police.
Like any good guest, I closed the door behind me, placed the key on the dining room table, and went to sleep. Unbeknownst to me, the couple was not sleeping. In fact they were invited out for the meal to some family down the block and had not yet returned. But they did not share that information with me, and so instead of replacing the key under the hoop for them to use, I simply closed the door, placed the key on the table and retired for the night.
Now they were locked out!
They say that they were knocking on the door for a half hour. I’m telling you: I didn’t hear a thing. The man of the family then came around to the back of the house where I was sleeping and began to pound on the window.
I jumped out of bed and looked for the first weapon I could find. I was convinced that while surviving not being shot at or arrested as the burglar, I was now going to be the victim of the burglar.
I had gone from being the hunter to the hunted in one hour.
I finally let the homeowners in, but only after asking them a few questions on the weekly Torah portion just to ascertain their authenticity. And no, unlike Achashveirosh, I was unable to go back to sleep for the rest of the night.
My wife always tells me, ask the host for an extra key and take it with you. If I had only listened to my wife.

David Seidemann is a partner with the law firm of Seidemann and Mermelstein and serves as a professor of business law at Touro College. He can be reached at 718-692-1013 or ds@lawofficesm.com.