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On Target Parenting By Imma Dearest

So, on my way to shul yesterday, I decided, “Wouldn’t the world be so interested to know all these thoughts rumbling through my head?” Well, we’ll test that theory out now with my first blog, and the 5TJT’s first parenting blog.

I chose the name based on the movie, “Mommy Dearest.” I never saw the movie but I think she did something bad with wire hangers. I use plastic hangers so I guess I’m a better parent. But I definitely have those moments where I just know my children are looking at me and thinking, “Why can’t I have my friend _____’s mommy. She never yells or needs a break or anything.” Of course that’s because _____’s mommy has what I call a stunt double mommy – a nanny who steps in as soon as the going gets rough. The mommy has nice loving moments with her children and as soon as there’s a hint of kvetch, “Oh, Maria, please take the children out to play.” I don’t have that; my children know ALL of me, the good and the bad, for better or worse.

I decided not to use my name so that my children would not suffer any repercussions for what I had to say. I’m sure some of you will figure out my identity anyway. For those who won’t, I am 5’7”, blonde, a former model for Elle Magazine, who finished medical school but decided not to practice so I can stay home with my beautiful children. I have 4 children under the age of 8, two boys and two girls.

I’ll begin this little journey by describing my recent trip to Target – a central theme throughout every mother’s life. I saw a little cartoon which is so cute and apt. A women is staring at the bulls-eye. It’s hypnotizing her and she says, “I will buy whatever you want me to.” How does Target have that effect on us? Just such an open clean space filled with nice looking, affordable items. Sure, you don’t really need 95% or them, but look, they’re on clearance… Do men have a store that tantalizes them like that. I think maybe Home Depot or Lowe’s. I remember when we were redoing our bedroom, my husband went there every day for things that I really felt he should have bought all at one time. He went once for a can of paint, and of course came back with the paint, and some doohickey that I don’t know what it does. The next day, he went for a paintbrush. Surely, my very intelligent husband could have thought he needed a paintbrush at the same time as he needed paint. But, I understand, it’s Target for men.

So, off we went for our little trip. It was sort of funny that halfway on our trip, my older daughter commented that it’s further than she remembered. She didn’t know about the whole drama of closing the Valley Stream store and having to go to Westbury now. The others had already been with me on this extended trip, but she had not. We arrived, dealt with all the fighting for the prime spots in the cart, and went t where they needed. I had a mini meltdown, thinking I left my phone in the car with the list for my son’s school, but luckily I found it. So we went through the school supplies. My baby messily eating a sugar cookie which he would never be allowed to do at any other time. My middle two squealing embarrassingly. My older two walking all over grabbing things they may or may not need. I know the numbers don’t add up, but I felt like I had more than 4 children at the time too. Baruch Hashem, I actually got everything on my list, and nothing extra. A true neis.

Just curious, if anyone wants to comment: what’s the weirdest school supply request you’ve ever had? So far, I haven’t had many but one of my schools wanted 2 red folders, 2 yellow folders, and 2 green folders. I wonder what sort of magic the teacher has in mind with this. I remember needing highly specialized folders and equipment when I was younger and am not looking forward to those requests later on.

Anyway, I got to relax on my ride back. I find driving the most relaxing part of being a parent. My children are not on top of me, usually not fighting, and not making messes. I listen to what I want on the radio – though I need to find a way to brainwash this secular music out of my kids’ heads before they go to school and sing these songs to their morahs. I even like to scan the receipt at red lights to feel proud of my savings. The only bad part was spending so much time indoors on an actual nice day something I feel we’ve been doing too much of lately but seems unavoidable with the hot weather, infestation of mosquitoes, and my son’s broken arm which can’t get wet.

But Target worked its magic and we all came back home happy. Stay tuned for more goings on in Camp Mommy, getting ready for school, and other parenting moments we can all relate to.

Imma Dearest will post an article on parenting every Sunday And Thursday, exclusively on 5TJT.com

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Posted by on August 13, 2012. Filed under In This Week's Edition,Slider. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. Both comments and pings are currently closed.