By Hannah Reich Berman

 My mother often told me that one is never too old to learn a new lesson. Mom was right! We learn new things all the time. My most recent learning experience came last week.

To be ready for an early-morning b’ris (aren’t they all?), I got out of bed at 5 a.m. This was not just any b’ris. It was the b’ris of my first great-grandchild, and I could not have been more excited. The b’ris was to take place in the neighboring town of West Hempstead, which is approximately a 20-minute drive from where I live in Woodmere. Davening was to start at 7 and the actual b’ris was scheduled for 7:45. Not wanting to miss a moment of the event, I arranged to have my daughter (not the new grandmother but another daughter) come for me at 6:40.

Ever the early bird, I prefer to wait for the people I’m meeting rather than have anyone wait for me. So at 5:30–much earlier than my normal time–I got into the shower, expecting to be finished in just enough time to dry off, get dressed, and toss down my morning meds before going outside to wait. With the delightfully warm water pouring from the showerhead, I lathered up with shampoo and soap. “So far, so good,” I thought.

But not one minute after I got under the stream of water to rinse the suds off, the powerful surge of water abruptly slowed to a trickle. And not only was there insufficient water to get a good rinse, but even that trickle went from comfortably warm to downright hot. Thank goodness this happened in the privacy of my shower, because it was not a pretty sight as I scooted out of the direction of the scalding water and then reached my arm out to adjust the shower temperature. It’s also fortunate that no one heard my spluttered exclamations as I did my best to rinse off all the shampoo and soap with a minuscule amount of too-hot water.

I got it all done and managed to get dressed and be outside at the appointed time. But it was a trying experience. The important thing, of course, is that the b’ris was positively lovely. It went off without a hitch, and my great-grandson was named for my late Hubby. Five years ago, my niece and nephew named their son for Arnie and I was beyond thrilled–and still am! But that did not diminish my joy at having another baby–a great-grandchild, no less–also named for him.

It appeared that the baby was none too thrilled with his position at the ceremony, but that was to be expected. We women got the standard explanation: the baby does not really feel pain; the crying is because he does not like the cold that he feels when his diaper is suddenly removed. Personally, I do not buy a word of that explanation, but I cannot disprove it any more than the people who give the explanation can prove their theory. To my knowledge, nobody has ever asked the baby about this. But if I were a betting person and if the baby could speak, my best guess is that he would say, Are you kidding me?

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The late-in-life lesson that I learned that day was that if one has an older house that does not have an updated plumbing system, it is never wise to shower just as the sprinkler system is kicking in. Apparently the water can only travel in one direction at a time, and my water chose to head towards the lawn and not to my showerhead. Lesson learned; no more 5 a.m. showers for me. That’s the way it is!

Hannah Berman lives in Woodmere and gives private small-group lessons in mah-jongg and canasta. She can be reached at Savtahannah@aol.com or 516-902-3733.

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