Musings Of A Shliach From Montana
Aging is a fascinating time in the journey of life. I’m only forty-two, but as a Shliach I spend lots of time interacting with, mentoring, and learning from those who are up in years. It’s always intriguing to hear their stories, to learn from their experiences, and to ask them questions about how life was back in the day. I also cherish the opportunity to exude respect for a generation of souls who have seen and internalized so much.
I’m in awe of the elderly.
Just this past Shabbos, I was sitting at Kiddush lunch flanked by Jane on my right, who is almost eighty-two, and Howard on my left, who is eighty-three. Jane came because we were commemorating the second Yahrzeit of her beloved husband Fred, Simcha Moshe ben Leib, and Howard came because he comes every week since I met him at the grocery store a few years ago. Howard, Henoch Leib, was telling me about how he studied to become a CPA, and when he got a job as an accountant, he hated it so much that he went back to school to study law and eventually became an attorney. Jane told me about her upcoming hip replacement surgery and how she and her late-husband Fred were so active, and this was one of the fallouts of their nonstop hiking.
This week’s parashah, Chayei Sarah, tells us that “Avraham was old. He continued to deeply internalize his experiences. Hashem had blessed Avraham with everything.” The Gemara in Bava Metziah teaches that “Until Avraham, there was no aging (old age was not physically recognizable). Consequently, one who wanted to speak to Avraham would mistakenly speak to Yitzchak, and an individual who wanted to speak to Yitzchak would speak to Avraham, since they were indistinguishable. Avraham came and prayed for mercy, and aging was at last noticeable.”
In the Sefer Mei Zahav (quoted in Talelei Oros) the author explains the meaning of the Gemara: “Until Avraham Avinu came around, society didn’t respect older individuals. The norm was to value strength and vigor, so youthfulness was celebrated and the elderly were ignored or worse, shunned. Along came Avraham Avinu who taught the world to value the elderly who are wise, experienced, and full of life lessons that are invaluable.” Like the Greeks 1,500 years later, the world before Avraham was body- and youth-oriented, and valued the body in its prime. It was Avraham who taught them to respect the human mind, heart, and soul.
I grew up with deep respect for the elderly, not just because I adored both sets of grandparents, not just because my mother looked up to people like Rabbi Jacob J. (JJ) Hecht and Rabbi Yehuda Krinsky, not just because I’d walk to shul with my Zayde and stop along the way to chat with his friends, the elder of his generation, and it was always fascinating, but because the Rebbe, zt’l, had a reverence for the elderly Jews, the elder Chassidim, who had been through the wringer in Europe and were human masterpieces.
As a yeshiva student, I marveled while spending time with the elderly. While in Yeshiva in Detroit, I would visit my Israeli Saba’s cousin, Yoel (Joel) Krasnick, each Friday at his store, Birmingham Drugs. He was in his upper nineties, and I always learned something from him, either from what he said, what he didn’t say, or how he interacted with me or other people. Just last Friday I was in Costco and ran into a Bozeman couple I’ve known for years and the wife Bonnie said, “Rabbi, you know Michael turned eighty-six?” I looked at Michael, who looked way younger than his age, and I said, “Finally Mike! you’re an alter kaker” and we both laughed.
The Midrash Tanchuma on Mikeitz explains in the name of Rav Abba that when it says in Tehillim, “For this let everyone that is G-dly pray unto You in a time when He may be found,” that this means that when a person finds old age, it is essential that they pray for healthy again: that his eyes may see, his mouth may eat, and his feet may walk. The Midrash is emphasizing the importance of praying for a long life that is productive and healthy.
When we daven during Yom Kippur, beseeching Hashem, “Al Tashlicheini L’eis Ziknah,” we are asking Him for just that: to give us old age in good health. The playwright, George Bernard Shaw, wrote that “We don’t stop playing because we grow old, we grow old because we stop playing,” so our request of Hashem is that we never stop being active, that we never stop remaining connected, that we never stop seeing the joy and fun in life, and that we never stop showering our wisdom on the world around us.
In 1991, Reb Efraim Wolff, the Rebbe’s personal confidant in Israel, wrote a note to the Rebbe with the following question: “There are those in Chabad who are saying that Chabad’s activities can only succeed with young leadership at the helm. As I am not young anymore (he was seventy-two at the time), perhaps I should step aside and transfer leadership to a younger person and I can serve as their assistant or I can move away totally and find something new to keep me busy?” The Rebbe responded by crossing out the words “Chabad’s activities can only succeed with young leadership at the helm” and wrote: “In spirit and enthusiasm, which is not related to age at all. Sadly, many young people are in a deep sleep… May you continue to lead the institutions with joy and gladness of heart and the merit of the tzibbur (community) and the blessings of the Rebbes, will support you to grow stronger.”
It’s not about what the birth certificate says; it’s about the youthful spirit of the person.
Rabbi Moshe Rosen became chief rabbi of Romania in 1948. The subsequent years under Stalin were very hard, and even after Stalin died in 1953, being the chief rabbi of a Communist country was risky. By 1982, he was ready to move on. He was seventy years old and ready to retire and move to Israel. He brought this idea to the Rebbe in yechidus (private audience) and the Rebbe said he was surprised to hear of his plan to leave Romania. The Rebbe emphasized the ripple effect and shared with Rabbi Rosen that when the newspapers reported that he was going to leave Romania, a rabbi in South Carolina wrote to him that he is also planning to retire now, too. Rabbi Rosen asked the Rebbe, “When can I finally relax with my family?” The Rebbe responded, “When you’ll be my age, we can discuss it.” The Rebbe was eighty at the time, ten years his senior. Rabbi Rosen continued to serve the Jews of Romania until his passing in 1994.
During my years in Bozeman, I spent much time with Georgette, Golda bas Chaim, who was a Belgian Holocaust survivor, as well as with Eddie, Yitzchak Eliezer ben Nochum Moshe, Jews who are something else. They were cut from a different cloth, full of zest and character and from whom I learned so much. I reminisce about my time with them often and allow it to inspire me in my life’s journey. In Iyov we are taught that “Rov shanim yodiu chochmah—many years bring wisdom,” which is why as a prerequisite for joining the Sanhedrin, a sage needed to be over seventy years old.
In a beautiful 1957 letter to a child who was concerned about their elderly mother still having to work to earn a living, the Rebbe writes “Peace and Blessings!… Regarding that which you write about your mother having to work at this age, it is understood that not all jobs are equal (so perhaps finding a more suitable job for her age would make sense), but in principle, it is precisely at this age that one should try to be busy with some kind of work that is useful, as it is a healthy distraction from ailments, etc., and working is super helpful for a person’s general health.”
Let’s remember that old age is a berachah, a true blessing that many people don’t merit. It shouldn’t be looked down on by the aging person himself or their loved ones. And we as a community should cherish the participation of the elderly in our communities, give them opportunities to share and teach, and bring them into yeshivas and high schools to uplift and inspire the next generation of Jews. n
Rabbi Chaim Bruk is co-CEO of Chabad Lubavitch of Montana and spiritual leader of The Shul of Bozeman. For comments or to partner in our holy work, e-mail rabbi@jewishmontana.com or visit JewishMontana.com/Donate.
