By Sivan Rahav-Meir
Translated by Yehoshua Siskin
In the course of a lecture tour in the United States, we were once guests in the home of Stephanie and David Sokol. We thought they were a typical American couple, except that I noticed how Stephanie conducted Zoom conversations with Israel day and night. “Should the women have dinner before they take a boat ride on Lake Kinneret or after?” she asked. And “Who is the best tour guide to take them through the alleyways of Tzfat?”
It quickly became clear that Stephanie devotes nearly all of her time to an amazing project that brings Jewish women to Israel each summer. The only condition for coming is never having been to Israel before.
I was privileged to meet a group of these women this week. I spoke to them after they toured Jerusalem and Tel Aviv, Caesarea and Masada, and after they greeted their first Shabbat in Israel at the Western Wall (Kotel). But it was how they reacted to their visit that surprised me most.
“We put pictures up on social media and everyone who saw them said they never saw us with such a glow. My husband said he never saw me with such a smile. And my children said they never saw me so happy.” This reaction was not the result of a pair of rose-colored glasses or of an Instagram filter, but of a filter known as the Land of Israel, their home.
During their first Shabbat in Israel, we read these words from the Torah: “A land the L-rd your G-d looks after; the eyes of the L-rd your G-d are always upon it.”
Thank you, Stephanie and your group, for the privilege of meeting you. If only millions of brothers and sisters like you will be fortunate to visit here as you did. And if only we, too—at the height of the tourist season in Israel—will be as inspired by the filter of this land as you have been.
On Relationships
It’s the height of the wedding season. Here are two thoughts—one from an Israeli rabbi and the other from a French writer—appropriate for this day:
Rabbi Shlomo Wolbe once received a letter from a worried young mother and wife, who laid out her troubles before him. In one word, his prescription for her distress could be summed up as follows: humor. She should be blessed with a humorous perspective. We tend to lose our cool, he explained, to start fights, to magnify small things with our spouse and family, and often not relate to them in an appropriate way. A smile, a good word, looking at what happens at home in an amused way—this is the best medicine, instead of overreacting and taking every little thing seriously. It is precisely those who see the big picture and enjoy an eternal perspective, he claimed, who are best equipped to utilize humor.
Antoine de Saint-Exupéry is the author of The Little Prince, among other works. When he was once asked to define love, he answered: “Love does not consist of gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction.” That is, love is not only about meeting our romantic needs, but also about having a vision and a purpose, a direction and a path that we walk along together.
May we all find success in living with more humor and in walking together toward a common destination.
When Consolation Is In The Air
Consolation is in the air, but do we feel it? Following Tishah B’Av, we read seven consecutive haftarot of consolation. At the annual meeting of the One Family (Mishpacha Achat) organization, I was privileged to speak about consolation in front of hundreds of women who were victims of terrorism. The thoughts that follow were meant not only for them, but for all those who have had to cope with the repercussions of a terrorist attack.
In the Talmud, we read about the concept of “useless consolation.” This is consolation that harms more than it helps. When we wish to console someone, we must be careful with our words so that they are truly healing, to consider the exact meaning of our words—that they are appropriate for the person opposite us to hear.
To console and give comfort is the expertise of women and mothers. Consider the beautiful image the prophet Isaiah evokes: “As someone whose mother comforts him—so I will comfort you.” That is, we must comfort instinctively as a mother comforts her son. Look at a child who hurts himself and notice how his mother hugs and calms him down. That is the model to emulate.
Rabbi Kook once wrote: “At present, our greatest and holiest obligation is to comfort our fellow Jew.” To speak words of reassurance that strengthen and uplift.
Here is the last passage in the haftarah that we will read this week on Shabbat. It’s an ode to the Land of Israel and to the consolation that will come from turning the wasteland of its ruins into a garden touched by the Divine. “For the L-rd shall console Zion, He shall console all its ruins, and He shall make its desert like a paradise and its wasteland like the garden of the L-rd; joy and happiness shall be found therein, thanksgiving and a voice of song.”
May we merit to console one another and be consoled in this blessed land.
“Just Be Good”
{IMG Sivan Meir – Pashut Lihiyot Tov
“Hello Sivan, this is Kalanit Turgeman, a staff member at Camp Mesorah in the northern New York mountains. I read your post about the sentences that officer David Yehuda Yitzchak, who was killed in Jenin a month ago, wrote to himself, and I saw how across the country people are quoting and sharing what he wrote.
“So we learned with our Jewish-American campers here about his character, we made a piece together, and, starting this evening, here in the forest in New York, this sentence of his is emblazoned as a reminder next to the Israeli flag: “Just be good.”
Task Masters
All beginnings are hard—but following through is not any easier
All of us can identify with one or more of the following scenarios: next to our bed, a pile of books that we began but didn’t finish; a computer screen full of open webpage tabs scrunched together at the top of the screen; a gym membership that we purchased with much enthusiasm but no longer use.
It is clear that this habit of neglecting to follow through is not good for us. In the Torah portion we read this past Shabbat, Moshe Rabbeinu warns the people: “Every (כל) mitzvah that I command you this day you shall be sure to do.” Rashi explains that the word כל in this context does not mean “every” but rather “whole” or “entire.” And then Rashi comments with this wise counsel: “If you have started a mitzvah, finish it.”
If you make a commitment, don’t neglect it after the initial enthusiasm wanes. In the course of every meaningful undertaking, a moment arrives when laborious effort will be required to sustain it. Complications are likely to arise and boredom may set in, or you might just tire from the task at hand.
When this happens, don’t give in to the temptation to abandon what you started and jump into another project that may glitter from afar. Do not leave tabs open in your life. Focus on the project in front of you, devote yourself to it, and persevere until it is complete.
You are all welcome to think about one project or task in your lives to which you can apply Rashi’s dictum: “If you have started a mitzvah, finish it.” n
Sivan Rahav-Meir, married to Yedidya and a mother of five, lives in Jerusalem. She has been a journalist in the Israeli media from the age of six and has interviewed thousands of people on television, radio, and in print. Globes named her Israel’s most beloved journalist, Forbes listed her as one of the most influential women in Israel, and the Jerusalem Post ranked her among the 50 most influential Jewish people in the world.
Sivan lectures in Israel and abroad on Judaism, Israel, and new media. In recent years, she began writing The Daily Thought, a brief commentary on current events that is circulated in Jerusalem and translated into 17 languages for global distribution. This volunteer-run project provides spiritual uplift for Jews and non-Jews all over the world.
To receive Sivan Rahav-Meir’s content, search The Daily Thought.
