By Misaskim
It has come to our attention that the parents of a 10-year-old boy who tragically died found out about his death via WhatsApp groups before the chevra kadisha had a chance to contact them. Within minutes of the boy’s tragic death, the news was spreading via WhatsApp groups until even the parents themselves read the devastating bulletin.
Three months have passed and Moshe still can’t look the group admin in the eye. That admin remains unaware that he was the one who delivered news of a child’s death to his parents in the most inhumane way possible.
In the crucial minutes after the child’s death, social media had already stripped the parents of their right to receive such shattering news with dignity and respect.
This is not an isolated incident. All too frequently, families are learning about their loved one’s tragedies through WhatsApp messages, news alerts, and social media posts before any official notification can reach them. A father discovered his son’s passing through a community chat group. A mother learned of her child’s accident from a viral video. These are not hypothetical scenarios: they are the painful result of a world that has been overtaken with the zeal to announce every tragedy and misfortune that befalls a member of our community. Their urgency to share has overtaken their compassion for the feelings of the immediate family members.
We have become a society of town criers, each of us armed with a global megaphone. But in our race to be the first to break the news, to post an update, to forward a message, we have forgotten something fundamental: basic decency. Behind every breaking news story lies a broken heart. Behind every shocking tragedy there is a family whose world has been shattered.
The solution is fairly simple. But it demands something rare in our world of instant-gratification: a little restraint. Don’t be so quick to share an accident scene that may involve death or injury, chas v’shalom. Don’t forward a crisis update. Instead, ask yourself: Have the people who need to know about this been informed? Are they aware of this? Have the askanim managed to track them down? And even more important: Would you want to learn about a tragedy involving somebody close to you via social media?
To minimize trauma, devastating news needs to be delivered by a trained professional in a gentle, compassionate way. Those first few hours after a tragedy are crucial in determining how the news is received and processed. It’s not the layman’s place to make such notifications.
For large families, or those with relatives living overseas, it can take several hours before every parent, sibling, grandparent, and family member is properly informed. Your restraint could mean the difference between a family receiving devastating news with proper support versus learning about it while perusing their phone at the grocery store. No number of likes, shares, or heartfelt comments can justify robbing people of their right to process tragedy with dignity.
In a world obsessed with being first, let’s dare to be something better: human.
Because, here’s the truth we must face: When we rush to share a tragedy, we aren’t delivering news—we’re delivering trauma. No viral moment is worth that cost.
