“She Watches Over Me, And I Watch Over Her”: How OneFamily Helps Grieving Mothers And Widows Heal Together

A mother-in-law and daughter-in-law bond in the wake of tragedy, healing their shared grief

A mother-in-law and daughter-in-law learn new ways to communicate in various programs

“She Watches Over Me, And I Watch Over Her”: How OneFamily Helps Grieving Mothers And Widows Heal Together

When a soldier falls in battle, he leaves behind a family shattered by grief. But what is often overlooked is the fact that two families are navigating the immense loss: the soldier’s widow and the mother who raised him. Whatever their relationship, their shared bond suddenly becomes complex and dynamic, particularly with regard to the changes that create insecurities about their respective places within the family and future roles, especially concerning grandchildren.

While these are often the two people in the world who loved him in the deepest way, their grief is not the same. The mother has lost a son; the wife has lost her partner and the future life they had planned to share. Sometimes they draw closer, while other times they struggle to understand each other’s pain.

OneFamily is perhaps one of the only organizations in Israel to recognize and create a space for these women to share their grief and bond over a lost love.

For the past 24 years, OneFamily has stood beside thousands of bereaved families in Israel. Most recently, the organization shifted its focus to intergenerational healing, particularly when it comes to the mother-in-law, daughter-in-law relationship. Sadly, this has taken on new urgency.

A OneFamily counselor recalls a powerful moment during a recent support group for bereaved women when a mother-in-law and daughter-in-law sat side-by-side. At first there was silence. Deafening silence. Then there were tears. Finally, the older woman reached out and took her daughter-in-law’s hand. “She watches over me and I watch over her,” said the bereaved mother quietly. The phrase became something of a mantra, a reflection of the deep, complicated love between them.

Through retreats, therapeutic programs, joint memorial initiatives, and one-on-one support, OneFamily nurtures these connections. It helps the mothers and widows become anchors for each other instead of reminders of what each has lost.

“We don’t push them into a relationship,” says Leah, a OneFamily social worker. “We simply create the conditions where healing and empathy can grow.”

For some, the bond grows stronger than ever. Michal, * a widow of a soldier killed in Gaza who is raising their infant son alone, credits her mother-in-law with helping her survive the darkest days. “She was the only one who could hold my grief without breaking,” she says. “Because she was carrying her own.”

Going far beyond traditional grief support, OneFamily helps rebuild the family unit from fragments, while giving women a safe space to mourn and move forward—not alone—but together.

In yet another year marked by profound national loss, OneFamily continues to stand in the breach, helping individuals grieve and families support each other through their grief.

Because sometimes, the path to healing begins not with answers, but with a simple truth: you are not alone. Sometimes the most powerful support we can give another person is not to tell them to “move on,” but to sit beside them and say, “I’m not going anywhere.”

“There are no perfect words,” says a OneFamily psychologist. “But there is presence. There is listening. And sometimes, that’s enough to start with.”

This is but a small example of OneFamily’s support. For the past 24 years, the organization has helped 7,200 families with more than 50 tailored support groups and programs, for bereaved widows, siblings, wounded soldiers, orphaned teens, and fiancées who never made it to the chuppah. OneFamily has provided 78,000 hours of therapy using art, music, movement, EMDR, forest therapy, and trauma-informed modalities for every age and background. OneFamily provides much-needed emergency financial aid for rent, groceries, hospital bills, school fees, simcha support, and more—always given quietly, with dignity and heart. Long after the headlines fade, OneFamily is still there.