A Reason To Wake Up

The other night I rewatched “The Intern,” a quiet, feel-good movie in which Robert De Niro plays a retired widower who becomes an intern at a fast-paced startup. What struck me wasn’t the plot or the charming dynamic between the characters. It was something subtle, almost forgettable. The way his character laid out his clothes the night before. The way he kept a routine: got up early, read the paper, sat down for coffee like he had somewhere to go, even when he didn’t. There was something so dignified in that. Something that said, I still belong in this world. I still have a purpose.

It hit me more than I expected. Because lately I’ve been thinking about how many people quietly lose that. The structure. The rhythm. The reason to get up.

We don’t talk about it enough, but when people no longer have a purpose, something in them starts to fade. It’s not always dramatic. Sometimes it’s slow. They sleep in a little later. They stop getting dressed all the way. They skip the walk, the phone call, the cup of coffee that used to mark the beginning of their day. And then the days begin to blend together. They start to feel heavy for no clear reason.

I think about my grandfather. He lived in Boro Park and took the bus into Manhattan every single day. His office was in the Empire State Building. Even when he wasn’t really working anymore, he still made the commute. Got dressed. Shaved. Wore his shoes. He once told me, “You have to have a place to go and people to talk to…” At the time I laughed. I didn’t fully get it. Now I do.

There’s something powerful about having somewhere to go and something sacred in being expected someplace. It gives your day shape. It gives your life direction.

One of the most basic yet underrated ways to create that shape is making your bed. It sounds so simple, but there’s real science behind it. Navy Admiral William McRaven once said that if you want to change the world, start by making your bed each morning. He meant it as a metaphor, but studies actually back it up. People who make their beds each day report higher levels of productivity, greater satisfaction with their lives, and even better sleep. Because that one small act signals that you’re stepping into the day with intention and you care about how your life feels, not just how it looks.

I see this with my clients too, especially those in their twenties, thirties, and forties. So many of them are navigating that strange middle space of figuring it all out. They want purpose, but they also want freedom. They want to feel productive, but also rested. And it’s easy to get caught in a loop of nothingness. Sleep in. Scroll. Lose motivation. Wonder why you feel disconnected from everything and everyone? But often, what’s missing is not ambition, it’s rhythm. The kind that grounds you in the present.

That’s what “The 5 AM Club” speaks to. This is a book and a concept made popular by Robin Sharma. It’s about rising early and using the first hour of your day with purpose. Whether that’s movement, reflection, journaling, or learning something new. It’s not really about the time on the clock. It’s about what happens when you own your morning. When you start your day on your terms, instead of being pulled into chaos the minute you open your eyes.

I even saw this in my own home when my husband was between offices. Without a place to go each day, something felt off. As soon as he had a space again, I could see the difference. It wasn’t about the office itself. It was about reclaiming a rhythm. Stepping into something with momentum.

Remote work and flexible schedules have their perks, but they have also stripped away a lot of the micro-moments that used to keep us connected. There’s no water cooler chat. No reason to dress up. No built-in time to decompress on a commute home. For many people, especially younger adults working from home, days can feel like one long stretch of unmarked time. And over time, that eats away at us.

A woman I worked with in her early sixties once told me she felt like she was floating. She had just become an empty nester. For so long her days had been full. School drop-offs. Errands. Shabbos prep. Volunteering. And then suddenly, everything was still. She wasn’t depressed, just untethered. So, we gave her day some shape again. A walk every morning. A class once a week. A friend she called before lunch. And I watched her come back to life. Not because anything big changed. But because she had a reason to get dressed again.

And it’s not just anecdotal. There’s real research that shows how essential purpose is to our physical and emotional health. A 2010 study published in Health Economics found that retirement increases the likelihood of clinical depression by 40 percent and the risk of developing at least one physical illness by 60 percent. Another study from the University of Michigan found that people with a strong sense of purpose live longer, sleep better, and are less likely to develop strokes, dementia, or heart disease. Purpose is not a luxury. It’s a survival tool.

So, what gives your life shape right now? Is it something external, like a job, or something internal, like a ritual you do each morning? Does your day have a beginning and an end, or does it blur together into one long scroll?

Sometimes we wait to feel inspired. To find the perfect purpose. But most of the time, it’s built and created, not discovered. It starts with a simple choice. Make the bed. Drink your coffee at the table. Step outside. Call someone. Lay out your clothes the night before. Write something. Learn something. Show up for something.

Because the truth is, purpose doesn’t always roar with clarity. Sometimes it tiptoes in through consistency.

So, if you’re in a season where you feel a little untethered, a little stuck, I want you to know that this isn’t the end of the story. You’re not lazy. You’re not broken. You just need something that reminds you you’re still needed. Still part of something.

And maybe the question isn’t, what do I feel like doing today? Maybe it’s, what kind of life do I want to wake up to?

Start there.

Because the world needs you. I need you. n

Tamara Gestetner is a certified mediator, psychotherapist, and life and career coach based in Cedarhurst.  She helps individuals and couples navigate relationships, career transitions, and life’s uncertainties with clarity and confidence. Through mediation and coaching, she guides clients in resolving conflicts, making tough decisions, and creating meaningful change. Tamara is now taking questions and would love to hear what’s on your mind—whether it’s about life, career, relationships, or anything in between. She can be reached at 646-239-5686 or via email at [email protected]. Please visit TamaraGestetner.com to learn more.