By Sivan Rahav Meir
Hamas took our dear brothers and sisters captive, and now Hamas is trying to take our minds captive as well. We are about to experience extreme emotions at both ends of the spectrum:
Extreme sadness at the return of those who were murdered, whom we have come to know almost personally. And extreme joy as we welcome those who remain alive, whom we have also come to know in a personal way.
And this scenario is being staged by a terrorist organization of Islamo-Nazis that is torturing all of us until the last second. These miscreants are also pleased to cause conflict among us, that we should forget who is the true enemy of us all.
I was privileged to get to know Shelly Shem Tov several days after her son Omer was taken captive. We met at a large prayer gathering that took place at the Western Wall. Since then, on many occasions, on Shabbatotand on holidays, and when she was interviewed, I saw something astonishing: She refused to allow Hamas to take her mind captive. She spoke only about unity and prayer, about our roots, about spiritual strength. Again and again she returned to stories about Omer, who keeps Shabbat even in captivity, and she continually rebuked those who would weaken her stance. She asked only that we give her and Omer the strength to persist.
Let’s try to go the way of Shelly Shem Tov as we replace the lying propaganda of our enemy with clear words of truth that we read in last week’s Torah portion, words spoken at Mount Sinai that continue to reverberate for us, reminding us of who we are:
“And now if you will obey My voice and keep My covenant, you shall be My unique treasure from among all peoples… and you shall be to Me a kingdom of priests and a holy nation.”
Gathered together at Mount Sinai, the nation of Israel heard about its special status for the first time.
Evil will disappear and good will triumph, a task eminently suitable for G-d’s treasured people.
Besorot tovot.
Rabbi Adin Steinsaltz derives an important life lesson from this week’s Torah portion of Mishpatim. He writes: “The most unusual part about Parashat Mishpatim is….Parashat Mishpatim. How do we move from the dramatic and earthshattering revelation on Har Sinai to a listing of 53 mitzvot pertaining to different areas of life? How is it possible to go from the lofty and sublime Matan Torah to instructions about how to take care of your donkey, or what happens if someone breaks your tooth and causes you injury?
The answer is that in order to achieve great things, we must begin with the small details. This is the only way to create meaning and to bring the revelation on Har Sinai into our day-to-day lives.
In contrast to the well-known saying, “The end justifies the means,” the Torah teaches us that “The means sanctify the end.” We cannot preserve the thunder and lightning of Sinai, but we can take the spirit of that encounter and translate it into practical actions—mitzvot—that elevate our lives at home, on the road, in the bank, or in the marketplace.
We are accustomed to lifting our eyes heavenward when we speak about Hashem, but ParashatMishpatim teaches us that He is also present in the money we spend, in the apple we eat, and in our attitude toward the parking lot attendant.
Last week, I had the privilege of participating in a global women’s Zoom event. Initiated by social activist Sharon Adam and Rabbanit Rachel Bazak, this joint broadcast connected thousands of women from Israel and around the world.
The broadcast hosted Lena Troufanov, mother of Sasha, who thankfully was released last Shabbat. “Dear women, what am I asking?” Lena said. “Please try to be less angry, less irritable, express gratitude, and speak kindly. It’s the little things that matter.”
But what does refraining from yelling at one’s children have to do with Sasha? Lena, who emigrated to Israel from the Soviet Union, had very little familiarity with Judaism. However, since the tragic events of October 7, when she herself was also taken hostage, she discovered a deep connection to her heritage, including the concept of mutual responsibility among the Jewish people. “During the time I was held captive and afterward, Judaism provided me with meaning and joy,” she shared. “I realized that all Jews are interconnected, and every commandment we observe impacts others. Your actions give strength to me and to Sasha.”
Lena also discussed her decision to avoid exposure to the news until Sasha’s return, as she found it disheartening and confusing rather than helpful.
The event resonated with similar powerful sentiments from additional mothers of hostages. Shelly Shem Tov, whose son Omer remains captive in Gaza, described her anguish as labor pains, painful yet hopeful that something positive will emerge. “You are the midwives assisting me,” she said. “Focus on strengthening one small aspect of your lives.”
Siggy Cohen, mother of Eli, asked attendees to keep her son in their thoughts during Shabbat candle-lighting, Kiddush, and the Torah reading in shul. Julie Kuperstein, Ditsa Or, Efrat Mor, and Galit Kalfon each echoed these powerful messages.
Concluding the event, Meirav Berger, mother of recently released hostage Agam, expressed gratitude to the millions of Jews worldwide who supported their ordeal. “Agam was kidnapped because she is Jewish, prompting a reflection on our Jewish identity. It is only together, with strength and with prayer, that we turn the impossible into the possible. Dream, pray, and request the utmost.”
Here are some helpful words for this challenging period from Hila Gonen, director of a trauma recovery center in Sderot:
“What does it mean when magicians say ‘abracadabra’? It’s actually a combination of two words of Hebrew origin: ‘abra’ (I will create) and ‘cadabara’ (as I speak). Words create reality. Our world itself was created with Hashem’s words.
“Therefore, when you make despairing statements such as, ‘I have no more strength,’ ‘I can’t stand the tension,’ and ‘I’m falling apart,’ you create that reality and end up really feeling that way. What we need to know is that we can create a far more favorable reality with empowering statements. Instead of ‘I’m finished,’ try telling yourself: ‘It’s hard for me now and I am hurting, but I can still keep on going’.
“Another idea is to limit the time we allow ourselves to dwell on our negative emotions. Instead of saying, ‘I can’t handle this,’ say ‘I can’t handle this right now.’ Instead of ‘I have not recovered,’ add the word ‘yet.’ Instead of ‘I’m sad,’ say, ‘In the meantime, I’m sad.’ We need to remind ourselves that the current situation is only temporary and is bound to change for the better.”
Translated by Yehoshua Siskin, Janine Muller Sherr
Read more by Sivan Rahav Meir at sivanrahavmeir.com.
