Internalizing Values
Moshe was prevented from entering Eretz Yisrael because of his actions at the Mei Merivah, the Waters of Strife, but the question of what exactly he did wrong is hotly debated. The Rambam (Shemonah Perakim ch. 4) suggests that Moshe failed because he reacted angrily towards the people in a manner that did not reflect G-d’s attitude at the time. Ramban (Bamidbar 20:7) raises several objections to this view, most notably: Hashem rebukes Moshe (20:12) for not trusting in Him, “ya’an lo he’emantem bi.” If Moshe’s failure was in getting angry, why does G-d instead take him to task for a lack of faith?
The Ritvah in his Sefer Zikaron, responds to Ramban’s critique by noting Moshe’s earlier request of G-d after the sin of the Golden Calf (Sh’mot 33:13): “Hodi’eini na et derachecha, inform me of Your ways.” Rambam (Moreh Nevuchim 1:54) explains that Moshe was interested in learning G-d’s ways so that he could emulate them in his own leadership of the people. G-d responded by teaching Moshe the 13 Attributes of Mercy which include erech apayim, the quality of being patient and slow to anger. Thus, when Moshe got angry at MeiMerivah, it was not just a failure of character but of faith, for if Moshe truly believed what G-d had taught him about His own patience, then Moshe’s actions would have followed suit, “ki ha’emunah mitztarefet la’ma’aseh”—because true belief translates into action.”
Ritva’s final statement is powerful. When we fail—as we often do—to live up to our declared values, it demonstrates implicitly that we do not fully believe in them. Bridging that gap between belief and action is the fundamental task of character development. This was noted by Rav Yisrael Salanter (Ohr Yisrael, note to letter 30), who explained that regarding the refinement of our character and psychological drives, we cannot achieve change by expecting that once our minds learn the principle, it will guide our actions. Rather we need the knowledge to penetrate our hearts and become part of us. To achieve this, Rav Yisrael suggested shinunv’hitpa’alut, the passionate and emotional repetition of a single value statement—a mantra—until that value penetrates our hearts and becomes part of us (see Shaarei Ohr of Rav Yitzchak Blazer 9:3.)
Do any of us do that? Are we genuine ba’alei mussar who work diligently and patiently to create that congruence between our values and actions? Most of us usually do not, with one notable exception: Hashem’s 13 Attributes of Mercy. We repeat those over and over with great emotion from the onset of Selichot and through Ne’ilah on Yom Kippur. We do that so that they will penetrate our hearts and shape our character. Considering what we have learned from Rambam and Ritva, this practice assumes new meaning. Moshe had heard these 13 Attributes from G-d but—as the story of Mei Merivah demonstrates—he had not immediately fully internalized them. We, therefore, to attempt to make them a part of us, make them a mantra that we repeat passionately and emotionally.
If we want to live our values and not just preach them, they must be repeated and celebrated with feeling and conviction in our learning, conversations, and homes, until they become part of who we are. n
Rabbi Moshe Hauer is executive vice president of the Orthodox Union (OU), the nation’s largest Orthodox Jewish umbrella organization.
