My son Menny, who is turning 10 on the 5th of Iyar, is a big fan of Nissim Black and always quips that when he gets older, he will have a beard that looks like Nissim’s beard.
On a related note, over the past few weeks I’ve been debating with Chavie as to whether one of my beard hairs has turned white. It seems like it has, but I have had false alarms before and it turned out to be light-blond, so I was hoping this was the case again. Yet, after a long assessment, it has been confirmed that at the young age of 41, I have finally acquired a single white hair. When I asked four of my kids last Shabbos what they thought of it, the three girls responded, “You’re old,” “You’re very old,” and “You’re getting old,” while Menny responded, “It means you’re growing up.” I loved his answer. He didn’t see it as negative or as a sign of aging, just an indication that his father is growing up.
So why didn’t I pluck the white hair?
The Shulchan Aruch (Yoreh Deah 182:6) rules that a man is prohibited from plucking out a white hair from his dark hair, as it represents a bodily beautification process prohibited by “Lo yilbash.” Yes, our holy Torah, 3,335 years ago, prohibited men and women from behaving like the opposite gender. So, it’s prohibited biblically for men to wear women’s clothing or women to wear men’s items. It’s simple and straightforward: we are meant to represent ourselves according to our gender, and this applies even on Purim. So as much as I would’ve liked to pluck this particular hair off my face to keep my young image, it was prohibited under the banner of crossdressing, which is the overriding principle of all these halachos.
In addition, our double parashah Acharei Mos–Kedoshim has a unique mitzvah connected to Jewish men: “You shall not round off the corner of your head, and you shall not destroy the edge of your beard.”
On Sunday, Jewry started the new cycle of learning daily Rambam (in the cycle of three chapters per day and Sefer HaMitzvos each day; if you want more info on how to join, please e-mail me). In his Sefer HaMitzvos, negative commandment 43 and 44, the Rambam writes “This negative mitzvah prohibits shaving sideburns to a point where they no longer can be seen” and “As with the above negative mitzvah, Jewish men are cautioned against shaving their beards. This commandment applies to the use of a razor (or a utensil that is like a razor) in order to shave off the beard.”
As we are now in the time of Sefiras HaOmer, when many Yidden who do shave or trim their beards refrain from doing so as a sign of aveilus, it’s an appropriate time to talk about the facts of this mitzvah. I am not writing about beards as a judgment call on those who do shave, especially because many of them are relying on great poskim to do so and aren’t using a razor, G-d forbid, but rather an electric shaver; I simply want my readers to know the history of beards and to understand the origin of shaving. This isn’t a chumrah of Chassidim or special for Lubavitchers or unique to roshei yeshivos only. The idea of men wearing a beard starts in Sefer Vaykira in Kedoshim. The Ibn Ezra says that we aren’t supposed to shave because it’s a gentile practice, and because Hashem created the male facial hair and peiyos, it’s the male beauty and therefore should remain untouched. Rabeinu Bachya explains that it’s to retain the gender differences in society in which men have peiyos and beards, and women don’t. The Rambam says it was the way of the pagan priests of idolatry to shave their beards and heads, so we shouldn’t.
Rabbi Berel Wein writes on his website (www.rabbiwein.com/blog/beards-667.html):
In the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries, with the advent of Reform in Germany and France, “modern” Jews became clean-shaven. Eventually, even observant Orthodox Jews in Western Europe stopped wearing beards. In order to avoid the possibility of transgressing over the biblical commandment prohibiting the use of a straight razor on the facial hair, these Jews used a sulfuric compound that served as a depilatory to remove their facial hair. In the late nineteenth and the first half of the twentieth centuries, the yeshiva students of Lithuania also used this depilatory and were clean-shaven and without beards, at least until they married or assumed communal leadership roles. This was somewhat ironic since some of the famous maskilim—“modern, enlightened” Jews—of Lithuania sported great luxurious beards. Theodore Herzl, the founder of secular Zionism, is easily recognizable because of his great black beard. In the Chassidic world, however, appearing clean-shaven was unacceptable. This was partly based on Kabbalistic reasons not to cut one’s facial hair and also as a sign of its refusal to accept the ever-changing fashions of modernity as any sort of substitute for Jewish custom and tradition. In Eastern Europe, rabbis always wore beards.
“In twentieth-century America, many Orthodox rabbis were clean-shaven. The advent of the electric shaver, which allowed one to shave facial hair with a scissors action as permitted by halachah, provided the means by which observant Jews could appear as clean-shaven as the rest of American society of the time. However, by the last third of the past century, most American Orthodox rabbis wore beards. However, their congregants were and still are in the main clean-shaven. Here in Israel, the rabbinate is pretty uniformly bearded, though there are some notable exceptions. The custom in the “Lithuanian” yeshivot remains that most of the students are not bearded, though after marriage the trend is to grow a beard. One’s appearance is an important matter in Jewish life and therefore this issue of beards was always treated seriously, independent of the questions of halachah involved. Beards are seen as a mark of Jewish identity and as a physical link to Jewish tradition and its lifestyle.”
In reading this it became clear to me that the history of shaving beards as frum Jews is a direct result of a reform/enlightened society pressuring traditional Jews into their way of life. It was about seeking to fit into the Western European culture, which eventually spread even to Eastern Europe and beyond. So, plucking my white hair would be an issue of lo yilbash but also much more. In a sense I would be transgressing the issur to shave (which, according to the Tzemach Tzedek, includes five biblical prohibitions, one for each section of facial hair), which would be trying to act like a gentile, a woman, or a pagan priest, none of which would be a good idea.
I think that the one question every frum man should ask himself is: Am I shaving in order to fit in to society? Am I shaving because I think the world will respect me more without a beard? Am I doing it to be modern or because of how it feels on my face? Is it for looks or convenience? If the answer is that it’s being done to fit in with the gentile neighbors, then it would prohibited due to this idea alone. As Jews, we should never make decisions of being lenient on issues addressed by the Torah, if the intent is to fit in with everyone else.
Just this past Shabbos we had the honor of hosting Rav Avraham Goldstein of Yeshiva Hatfutsot, the Diaspora Yeshiva, in Yerushalayim. He stayed at a local hotel, joined us for Shabbos dinner, and I gave him and his son exact directions on how to get to shul on Shabbos morning. When it was 10:45 a.m. and they still weren’t in shul, I asked one of our security guards to drive through the area between the shul and hotel to see if they recognize the “Jewish rabbi” with the big beard who is probably lost. It turns out that as they were leaving the hotel, they asked someone for directions, and that person directed them to our local reform temple. So, they walked 2.5 miles to the temple and when they arrived and realized that this wasn’t the shul they were seeking, they turned back and walked the 3+ miles to our shul.
Imagine if Rabbi Goldstein didn’t have a big recognizable beard. He’d probably still be walking around Bozeman trying to find his way! Yet, because of his beard and his Jewish appearance, our security fellow was able to find him and direct him to the shul. Whether you have a beard or not, whether you’re male or female, never hide your Jewish identity. We aren’t like everyone else—we are a “mamleches kohanim,” a “kingdom of priests and holy nation,” and the world should know at every moment “Az utu du gait a yid,” here goes an unbashful Jew.
Two months ago, at my sister-in-law’s wedding in Texas, I heard the yeshiva bachurim singing a song that sounded awesome and lively: “Someone once came over to me and asked me what it’s like to be a Yid … It’s geshmak to be a Yid, it’s geshmak to be a Yid.” I enjoyed it and decided this past Shabbos to make it our Chabad Center anthem. I don’t know if I will succeed, but, in the meantime, we are singing it whenever we can and reminding the beautiful Jews of Montana that it’s indeed geshmak to be a Yid, to live like a Yid, look like a Yid, speak like a Yid, think like a Yid, and enjoy life as a Yid.
It’s geshmak to have a beard.
Rabbi Chaim Bruk is co-CEO of Chabad Lubavitch of Montana and spiritual leader of The Shul of Bozeman. For comments or to partner in our holy work, e-mail rabbi@jewishmontana.com or visit JewishMontana.com/Donate.
