As a religious Jew, I cover my head. The yarmulke or kippah is a very familiar symbol of Orthodox Judaism that has been part of men’s attire, perhaps second only to the tallis, which was once worn all day. As I sit on a flight from Eretz Yisrael filled with religious Jews, I reflect on the spectrum of men and boys who wear the kippah and the plethora of styles that are sported and proudly worn. Some men wear their head covering without giving it a moment’s thought. It’s just a part of their standard attire and may involve no more contemplation than putting on a pair of socks.
When I think back to my childhood, most of us men and boys wore shiny, plain, black yarmulkes. Colors, designs, embroidered names, and various materials all came later. It seemed clear to me as a little boy that the yarmulke had nothing to do with stylishness. It was just there on the head. I remember asking one of my teachers why we wore them, and he telling me that this was our Jewish tradition. I asked for a source because I did not see it mentioned in the Torah. I don’t recall getting much of an answer at the time. We wore it because we wore it. That approach may have something to do with the automatic way most men put on their skullcaps, not giving it much significance beyond the need to wear it. They just put it on and forget about it.
Years later, a friend of mine who worked as a journalist for a Jewish newspaper told me that he was covering the funeral of a famous and prominent Reform rabbi. The deceased was lying in state and the dignitaries of that city attended the funeral, which was held in the massive Reform temple. My friend went to report on this story and was ordered by the usher to remove his yarmulke. “Hats are forbidden in this sanctuary.” My friend looked around and, sure enough, no man or woman in the throng of thousands was wearing a head covering. But then my friend noticed that the cardinal of the local Catholic diocese was wearing a scarlet red kippah with his scarlet robes.
My friend said, “But Cardinal X is wearing a head covering. How come he can wear it?” To which the usher responded, “Yes, but that’s because he wears it for religious purposes. Please take yours off.”
The usher’s assumption was, alas, that there was nothing “religious” about a traditional Jewish skullcap. We wear it just “because.”
Thinking back to my childhood again, I remember as a little boy asking my mother, a’h, why we wore yarmulkes. She explained to me that her father, a rabbi in Scotland, had explained to her that it reminds us that there is Someone above us, and wearing a yarmulke signifies that a Jew always lowers himself in deference to the One Above. Some say the word yarmulke is derived from the Aramaic or Hebrew words for “fear Hashem.” So, wearing a head covering is meant to remind us of the essence of being a religious Jew, always fearing Hashem. And wherever we go, we know that Hashem is always with us, over us.
A colleague of mine served as a chaplain and then as a psychologist for the United States Armed Forces. As a chaplain, he wore his uniform and a kippah. As a psychologist and officer, he wore his uniform and kippah. Once, a new commanding officer on the base ordered him to remove his yarmulke because it was not standard attire. He protested and was taken to a military tribunal where a high-ranking officer asked him to explain the purpose of the kippah. He utilized my mother’s explanation to which the officer said, “So, you are serving the country 24 hours a day and also on call with heaven 24 hours a day!”
We can challenge ourselves as we put on our head covering to be conscious of what this means and why we are clad this way. One way or another, it identifies a male as Jewish. Subjectively, each one of us might ponder whether it means something to us personally, as well. A greater meaning to our headgear is more heartfelt and meaningful than wearing it, just “because.” n
Rabbi Dr. Dovid Fox is a forensic and clinical psychologist, and director of Chai Lifeline Crisis Services. To contact Chai Lifeline’s 24-hour crisis helpline, call 855-3-CRISIS or email crisis@chailifeline.org. Learn more at www.chailifeline.org/crisis.
