By Malkie Gordon Hirsch Magence
Throughout our lives, we participate in many sedarim, recalling the events that led up to the redemption of our ancestors from Egypt, probably with not much more than the clothes on their backs and a little sustenance for the long trek ahead.
Today we go on a very different kind of trek this time of year. And we travel with a lot more than the clothes on our backs and a tiny bit of sustenance. I wonder what our ancestors would think if they saw our flotillas as we make the arduous trip down to Orlando to celebrate this yom tov.
The amount of stuff we deem necessary, most of it encompassing every “what if” situation if we combine Pesach with a family vacation, is beyond extensive. What if it’s hot? What if it’s cold? What if the kids need a basketball hoop for the pool? What if we run out of gluten-free crackers?
Call us the opposite of minimalists, because the amount of stuff we need on a daily basis doesn’t come close to the amount of stuff we shlep down to Florida, and that doesn’t even include disassembling the kitchen and packing it in grocery boxes to bring along, too.
Can we survive without a blender for smoothies?
Not likely.
Do we need to pack up an entire set of meat and dairy cookware and all the appliances that go along with it in case someone wants something they’ve never requested before, but might want to try over Pesach?
Definitely!
With every Jewish mother who goes along with the crazy idea of decamping to a foreign kitchen for nine days comes an equally ambitious entrepreneur who has an idea on how to profit from this down to the last container of Leben.
Do you need your housekeeper driven down to Florida? We can do that!
Do you need a nanny for the time you’ll be away? We can help!
Do you need pizza and sushi before and after the holiday? We have several establishments supplying that.
Do you need meat boards, tablecloths, paper goods, ice cream pops or gelato, your wig retouched, a family photo session, your valuables driven down, a private chef, or anything else you might dream up that can help enrich their 401(k)s?
Just sign up for one of the many Champion Gate chats and see your wish come true.
This is our third year trying out Orlando as a Pesach getaway.
I begin every pre-Pesach season refusing to do the work required to pull off yom tov, yet end up packing it up in entirety in cardboard boxes and assembling a pallet out of it.
You might wonder why a gal like me, who hates crowds, changes of scenery, and especially Disney theme parks might consider an idea such as Pesach in Orlando tenable.
The truth is, as I barricade myself in my Pesach kitchen this week, I can’t give you a logical explanation.
The only conclusion I can draw is that the rented house we have in Orlando has more interior square footage and a pool the kids can enjoy so when they do fight (and they will), I won’t hear them quite as acutely as when they’re on the kitchen couch and I’m three feet away, preparing yet another meal.
Traveling to Orlando is a science, and it’s definitely not one I’ve mastered yet, but the sense of adventure in not knowing if all the food you’ve spent weeks cooking and baking will arrive intact makes the experience something to reminisce about in the years to come.
The people-watching in Orlando is also fantastic, especially in the semi-kosher Winn-Dixie where you’ll spot the occasional native Floridian who definitely didn’t get the memo to steer clear of that particular store for the ten days the Jewish tribe is down there. And it’s always a fun challenge when you spot someone chowing down on kitniyos while on line to pay.
I basically run my own Chopped competition for my time there, trying to use products I’m unfamiliar with and it definitely puts a fun spin on “things to make with a bag of walnuts and beets.” I guess what I’m trying to say is that wherever you find yourself will have its own unique set of challenges.
The ones staying at home who sleep through the meals from all the hard work, the ones traveling to hotels who have to live in tiny rooms with way too many family members, and the ones absconding to Orlando, who will probably end up leaving their essential pieces at home by the door as they make their pilgrimage south.
Whatever happens, no matter how unfunny it might seem in the present, just know that these are the memories that will give us a chuckle many years from now. We hope.
So, wherever you’re staying this Pesach, have a chag kasher v’sameach and enjoy!
Malkie Gordon Hirsch Magence is a native of the Five Towns community, a mom of 5, a writer, and a social media influencer.
