By Larry Gordon
There is something both sad and exciting when a new reality is born out of the throes of a life-altering tragedy.
Almost three-and-a-half years have passed since the tragic death of Yisroel Levin and Elisheva Kaplan, a newly engaged couple in their early twenties with so much life ahead of them. You know the story: A shocking motor vehicle crash near Far Rockaway, the perpetrators’ drug use and reckless driving resulting in the death of these two beautiful, wonderful young adults. After all this time, we accept what took place but have made no progress in the effort to comprehend it.
At the levayah of his son, Shaya Levin said that, having made this sacrifice, he wants—no, is demanding—something from Hashem. And that, he said at the time, was the ability to get to work in Yisroel and Elisheva’s memory and to make 10,000 shidduchim, enabling young men and women to find their life partners, to marry and get on with the life they were granted by G-d.
I spoke with Shaya Levin earlier this week to inquire about the status of this enormous project.
It’s true that while we do feature the Dating Forum, in which our columnist Baila Sebrow fields shidduch questions every week, we probably could and should do more. For starters, I asked Shaya Levin to reflect upon what motivated him at his son’s funeral to make such a bold and gargantuan request of the heavens.
“I’ll tell you the truth,” he said. “I don’t know exactly, but at the time I felt that considering the sacrifice that we and the Kaplans sadly had to make, I thought, or maybe I was hoping, that considering the circumstances I had some leverage, and we desperately wanted something positive to come out of all the pain.”
Shaya explains that at the time he had no idea how this challenge was going to work out, but he was hoping that somehow this would be a turning point in the struggle for shidduchim that seems to be growing exponentially as the population of our community increases.
Then, Shaya explains, during the shivah for Yisroel, his daughter told him that her friend who came to be menachem avel wanted to begin the implementation of the initiative and eventually head up the project once it was launched.
Let’s jump ahead of ourselves for just a moment and describe what 10K Batay Yisroel is really all about. Stated as simply as possible, while there are many prodigious and diligent shadchanim active in the field on a daily basis, Shaya Levin says that it is just not humanly possible for these people, many of whom have dedicated their lives to matchmaking, to produce shidduchim for the many men and women who need them.
“As such, 10K is about facilitating the involvement of everyday people to think about and focus on the matter of making a shidduch,” he says. “Most people have never thought about the possibility of a couple beginning with a thought or an idea, but that is what we are saying—you can do it.”
So here are the numbers a bit over three years later. As of this week, those who have joined or signed up on the 10K Batay Yisrael website have come up with over 14,000 suggestions for shidduchim. Out of those numbers there have been 2,380 first dates and 169 marriages or shidduchim.
Shaya says that according to his tabulation, it is 169 weeks since the tragic occurrence, and so far, as you can see, there has been an average of one shidduch made per week.
“I think we are underestimating how increasingly large the problem is out there when it comes to young people finding their mates,” Shaya says.
While we were in agreement about that, we also talked about how, at some level, for those with wealth there is less of a crisis. And I suggested that from what I’ve observed, it is precisely this segment of the community that has the ability to exact change. But if there is no existing shidduch crisis who is going to lead the way?
Shaya Levin listens to what I am suggesting but then says that he does not necessarily agree with me about that theory. He says that he has become readily aware over the last three years about numerous singles in their twenties, thirties, and forties who are struggling with the matter of shidduchim.
And that, he says, is where 10K Batay Yisroel comes into the picture. The primary idea is encouraging the community not to rely exclusively on the few well-known matchmakers out there. One of the frequent complaints vocalized by those in shidduchim is that they are not receiving any calls or ideas for matches for them or their children. The solution to that frustrating matter is for those who have never made a shidduch or have never even thought about it to step up and begin doing something about it.
“I’ve received inquiries from a variety of different frum communities around the world asking us what we are doing and how we are doing it,” Shaya says. He explains that he tells those who contact him that 10K is not a dating service or a singles group. Essentially, it is a group of disparate people around the globe with one focus—to have an impact on the community and to facilitate shidduchim.
To that end, 10K is hosting a series of virtual lectures dealing with different aspects of shidduchim. The series began earlier this week with a presentation by Rabbi Ben Tzion Shafier for singles. On July 12, Charlie Harary will speak to shadchanim, and then on July 26, Rabbi Efrem Goldberg will give a lecture for parents.
The 10K website features a great deal of information, testimonials, and the opportunity to share information with others who desire to make a difference and make shidduchim happen.
This is the story of a solution evolving directly from within an awful and tragic event—the loss of Elisheva Kaplan and Yisroel Levin. The resulting thousands of ideas, dates, and marriages are a credit to their very brief lives and the enormity of who they were and the lives they lived.
Ten thousand matches is an ambitious goal. But believe it or not, that is what the frum world needs at this juncture, and something dramatic has to happen to ameliorate the crisis. This just might be it.
For more information, visit 10KBatayYisroel.org.
Read more of Larry Gordon’s articles at 5TJT.com. Follow 5 Towns Jewish Times on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter for updates and live videos. Comments, questions, and suggestions are welcome at 5TJT.com and on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.
