Once upon a time in the sunny suburban addendum area of the Five Towns lived Yankel, an optimistic and slightly naïve young man with big dreams of home ownership. After years of saving every penny, he finally decided to take the plunge and buy his first house. However, what seemed like a straightforward process quickly spiraled into a whirlwind of chaos when he discovered that the mortgage rates at Get-Your-Mortgage-Here Bank were sky high!
Determined to make his dream a reality, Yankel set out on a house-hunting adventure, accompanied by his quirky best friend, Menachem Mendel, a newly anointed CPA with a knack for finding joy and good deals in the most unexpected places.
Together, they navigated through real estate ads, open houses, helpful realtors, and eccentric neighbors, all while trying to dodge the ever-watchful eyes of Yankel’s overbearing parents, who could not understand why he didn’t settle for a tiny apartment because “What’s the rush to own a house of your own? You’re not even married yet!”
As Yankel and Menachem Mendel delved deeper into the world of real estate, they encountered a peculiar house unlike any other, a charming but dilapidated Victorian mansion with a personality of its own. (I know in the real world everybody would be fighting over who gets this house, but today I am the storyteller, so bear with me.)
The house creaked and groaned, its walls whispered secrets, and its floors seemed to have a mischievous bounce to them. Undeterred by its quirks, Yankel fell in love with the old house and decided it was the one for him, despite Menachem Mendel’s protests that it might be a money pit.
With the help of a motley crew of misfit contractors and a hilarious string of mishaps, Yankel and Menachem Mendel embarked on a home renovation journey like no other.
From battling overzealous squirrels in the attic to wrestling with temperamental plumbing fixtures, they faced one absurd challenge after another. Through it all, Yankel told Menachem Mendel not to worry about everything, and Menachem Mendel continued to tally both the renovation costs and the cost of the mortgage, all the while sweating while Yankel smiled and danced.
As the final coat of paint was applied, and the last screw tightened, Yankel stood in front of his newly transformed house and said, “Look how great the house looks! I knew this would be the ideal purchase!”
Menachem Mendel looked down at his notebook with the final numbers which showed how much the house actually cost and wondered where the money would come from to pay for everything.
As they continued to stare at the front of the house that they had worked so hard to renovate, someone patted Menachem Mendel on the shoulder and asked: “Are you guys looking to sell this house? I could get you a really great offer if you’re interested.” Yankel looked at Menachem Mendel and was about to say he wasn’t interested in selling when Menachem Mendel shushed him.
Menachem Mendel looked at the numbers he had compiled in his notebook and then mentally doubled them. Then he turned to the gentleman who was interested in making them an offer and said, “If you’re willing to pay $_____ for this house, we’ll gladly sell it to you.” The gentleman looked at both of them and said “Done!”
And that’s how Yankel and Menachem Mendel began their new startup business as developers! n
Anessa Cohen lives in Cedarhurst and is a Licensed Real Estate Broker (Anessa V Cohen Realty) with over 20 years of experience offering full service residential, commercial and management real estate services in the 5 towns of Long Island as well as the tri-state area . She can be reached at 516-569-5007 or Readers are encouraged to send any questions or scenarios by email to anessa@avcrealty.com.
