The New Normal: Shabbos Nachamu And Tishah B’Av Reflections

By Dr. Chaim Y. Botwinick

Last year during Tishah B’Av, we held our breaths, fearing an imminent attack on Israel by Iran, Hezbollah, or their proxies. The feeling of anxiety and dread we experienced as we sat on the floors of our shuls and batei midrashim reciting Eichah (Lamentations) was surreal as we waited for the bad news to hit.

All of the pre-Tishah B’Av news reports, social media posts, and articles had inundated us with dire predictions of imminent rocket, drone, and missile attacks on Israel’s population centers and that Israel was preparing for the worst.

Even after we called relatives in Israel, who reassured us that all was fine, we still felt anxious and afraid, which made it difficult to focus on the kinos and Eichah that we recite on Tishah B’Av. I recall feeling as if I was in a state of suspended animation. With one hand I held my Siddur and Kinos, and the other I clutched my cellphone, desperately trying to focus on my prayers, only to be distracted by the breaking news on my cellphone.

It reminded me of the stories my parents and grandparents used to tell us about observing Tishah B’Av in the shtetl, concentration camps, DP camps, and while trying to escape the pogroms of Eastern Europe. Their ability to mourn their losses while on the run for their lives was almost super-human.

As we concluded our fast, our physical and emotional exhaustion numbed our senses and even our ability to remain frightened. Traditionally, the Shabbos after Tishah B’Av is Shabbat Nachamu, a Shabbos of peace, calm, and consolation. But last year Shabbat Nachamu was nothing like the past. It did not feel the same. It did not feel familiar, especially with dark clouds of the war and the fate of the hostages still unknown. As a close colleague described it, immediately after Shabbat Nachamu, “We still feel the heaviness of war, like living on an island of fear in a sea of uncertainty.”

As I thought about this, I came to the harsh realization that perhaps this feeling is the way things will be for the foreseeable future. Maybe it’s the post-October 7th “new normal,” not dissimilar to the way our precious Holocaust survivors carried on with their lives after the war. They survived due to their resilience and most even prospered, but life was never the same again. October 7th was the most traumatic massacre of Jews since the Holocaust, an undeniably harsh reality that is seared in our hearts, minds, and souls forever.

This year, after experiencing the Twelve-Day War between Israel and Iran, we observed Tishah B’Av with mixed feelings. Although we pushed back Iran’s nuclear program significantly, we still have not entirely eliminated their arsenal or stockpile of ballistic missiles, nor have we tamed their burning desire to annihilate the State of Israel. This made Tishah B’Av feel significantly different from last year’s Tishah B’Av on a variety of levels. This year, we also witnessed the horrific propaganda video of two Israeli hostages being held captive in Hamas tunnels. The images were beyond horrifying. They resembled concentration camp victims whose bones were visible through their thin ash pale skin. We will never ever forget these images; they have tested our resilience and shaken our confidence to the core.

We ask ourselves: When will our hostages be rescued? And when will the terrifying aftermath of October 7 finally end? How much longer can Acheinu Bnei Yisrael tolerate this painful nightmare? How much longer can we endure the violent growing antisemitism now sweeping the globe? And finally, how much longer can we endure the increased levels of Jew-hatred that is being provoked, incited, and fueled by foreign governments that used to support the State of Israel?

These are just several of the daunting questions we ask ourselves as we conclude Tishah B’Av and prepare for Shabbos Nachamu, while keeping the plight of the hostages front and center in our minds.

Friends, we are living in a new reality that we have not experienced since the Holocaust. It is a reality that is deeply anchored in acts of antisemitism and violent Jew-hatred. Given this reality, it is difficult to remain positive, but one of the most unique and defining characteristics of Acheinu Bnei Yisrael is our unswerving ability to remain positive in the face of danger. Our focus now should be on strengthening our limud Torah, mitzvot, acts of chesed, and ahavat Yisrael, just to name a few. We should also commit to maintaining true and sincere achdut. We must do everything in our power to honor and respect each other and stand together as a united people.

Chazal teach us that achdut has always been an antidote for combating danger. It may not eliminate our enemies or cause them to disappear, but it will definitely ensure a level of security and minimize our fear of the unknown.

Let us hope and pray to Hashem that this year’s Tishah B’Av will be the last one that we observe through mourning and sadness, and may next year’s Shabbat Nachamu usher in a new period of peace, achdut, and the beginning of our geulah sheleimah. n

Dr. Chaim Botwinick is a senior executive coach and an organizational consultant. He served as president and CEO of the central agency for Jewish education in Baltimore and in Miami; in addition to head of school and principal for several Jewish day schools and yeshivot. He has published and lectured extensively on topics relating to education, resource development, strategic planning and leadership development. Dr. Botwinick is Author of “Think Excellence: Harnessing Your Power to Succeed Beyond Greatness,” Brown Books (2011).