Last Shabbos, I was invited to speak to a group of women who had a regular parashah shiur. Given that it was Parashas Pinchas, I addressed some of the views of our great Rishonim regarding the “take away” of the story, i.e. the lessons we learn about Pinchas’ reward for the actions he took during a difficult time in our Biblical history.
One perspective is that when someone serves the Jewish people, this can facilitate atonement for the errors of the nation. Pinchas took charge of the situation and rid his community of a major dilemma. And through his actions, he achieved atonement for all who had not taken the proper action.
Following the talk, one of the members of this study group passed me and my wife as we took a walk. We saw that she was strolling with some of her children on that pleasant Shabbos afternoon. Two toddlers were walking with her, smiling and cheerful. They stuck out their hands to shake mine and they called gleefully, “Good Shabbos.”
My wife and I commented on how joyful these youngsters were and how she was raising them with exceptional conduct standards. Both of the little ones were clearly born with special developmental needs.
The mother thanked us and described how she and her husband are dedicated to having a warm, Torah-oriented home. He is a beloved rabbi and she is a respected Rebbetzin. She disclosed that the two little ones are both foster children. And then she told us their story.
At birth, the parents of one of the children were advised to give him up for adoption. They were told that the child needed costly, ongoing medical treatment and would create unhappiness for the other siblings. When the Rebbetzin heard this, she applied to take the child into her own home, and she, her husband, and kids have surrounded the little one since infancy with love, happiness, and acceptance. It was plainly evident how successful they are. The second child was born into almost identical circumstances. The patriarch of his family instructed the parents to put the child up for adoption, saying that in the Old Country, this was always the practice. The parents were advised to forget about the child and to not discuss the matter further. So, in similar fashion, the Rabbi and Rebbetzin learned of this and applied to be foster parents for this child as well. Eerily, the two children look quite similar, from their hair color to their size, demeanor, and facial features.
The children are both joyful, engaging, and although their vocabulary was limited, they communicate and bring smiles to everyone around them. Fortunately, neither child has yet to display a significant medical need, and they have a home with this remarkable family and a chance to thrive and develop.
The Rebbetzin added: “With time, my husband and I learned that the fathers of the two little ones were actually rivals. They have never gotten along. We did not know this at the time, and neither of them was aware that we took in both of their children. One of the fathers eventually felt some remorse that he had given up his child and has since made contact, and will occasionally bring the child home for a Shabbos. The other one has yet to contact us, but neither birth parent knows the identity of the other’s birth parents, and we’re waiting for the day when they might end up meeting should they both come to visit us.”
She disclosed that while I had been giving the shiur and mentioned that those who make sacrifices in order to serve the Jewish nation can achieve a level of atonement for our people, she pondered this concept. She and her husband were serving the needs of two families by fostering their children, giving them a warm, heimish home instead of putting them up for adoption, possibly never to be seen again and possibly losing all ties to their Jewish heritage. Rather, they were being raised in an atmosphere of Torah and mitzvos.
“Could this bring atonement too?” she asked. “Could this serve as a catalyst to make peace among bitter rivals? Based on your teaching today, could this be a merit that my husband and I might hope for?”
I had mentioned in my shiur that in the vision of our Sages, Pinchas is Eliahu HaNavi. At the very end of Tanach, the prophet Malachi declares that Eliahu will “restore the hearts of the fathers” about which Rashi famously comments that fathers will have their hearts inspired by their children. I have no doubt that those who seek to make peace among Jews and who serve the Jewish people have magnificent merit, and bring an atonement for all of us. This is a pathway to shalom. n
Rabbi Dr. Dovid Fox is a forensic and clinical psychologist, and director of Chai Lifeline Crisis Services. To contact Chai Lifeline’s 24-hour crisis helpline, call 855-3-CRISIS or email crisis@chailifeline.org. Learn more at www.chailifeline.org/crisis.