The 5 Towns Jewish Times

The Sincerity Of Converts

Menny and Nissim Black in San Antonio on Monday

 

Musings Of A Shliach From Montana

One of the inevitable realities of shlichus is the many phone calls we get from people seeking to convert to Judaism. I receive an average of twenty-five inquiries each year from people asking about geirus. Though as a shliach, I don’t do conversions independently, I do hold the hands of those genuinely seeking to join Klal Yisrael and take them through the entire process until they immerse themselves in a mikvah at a beis din.

Of all the calls I get, most of them are not actually seeking to live according to Torah and mitzvos. Since they don’t wish to live according to halacha, we normally have one conversation or maybe two and it’s done. I encourage them to follow the sheva mitzvos, the Seven Universal Laws of Noach, and our interaction is complete. They are interested in “theory,” but not when they learn about eruv tavshilin and three-day yomim tovim.

Yet, every once in a while, a person or a family shows up and they are sincere, interested with heart and soul, and it’s a fascinating journey to be there with them as they learn, observe, question, dig deep, and eventually become fully observant and undergo a halachic conversion with a beis din in either Los Angeles, Seattle, or Chicago. The process doesn’t only give the sponsoring rabbi nachas for bringing these neshamos under the wings of the Shechinah, it also gives us loads of introspection about our own lives, recognizing the purity and sincerity, the devotion and the passion, that these newly minted Jews (those born with Jewish souls trapped in non-Jewish bodies), have for Hashem and His Torah.

If only I had that passion…

Just last week Chavie took our three youngest children to her parents’ home in San Antonio for the remainder of Chanukah. While there, they were able to join the annual “Chanukah on the Riverwalk” event that my in-laws have organized for almost three decades, with this year’s guest performer being Nissim Black. Our son Menny, who knows every lyric to Nissim’s songs, was elated to meet him in person, spend time with him, and even sing with him on stage. Chavie said that in person, Nissim was so menschlich, so sincere, so sensitive, so eidel, and was happy to come over to the Block home for a family Chanukah party after the event.

Of course, Nissim and his family are beautiful gerim. I often watch his little inspirational videos on X (Twitter) and he’s always so spot-on in his Torah-emunah perspective. I often feel that if you want to see someone who really appreciates the truth of Torah, has full trust in Hashem, and doesn’t get caught up in all our “issues,” you’d have to meet someone like Yisro, Moshe Rabbeinu’s father-in-law. Yisro tried all the other religions and cults and was able to see the truth in Torah because he had already accepted and interacted with all the falsehoods beforehand. Nissim’s background makes his purity and his neshamah so much more precious.

On the topic of sincerity, I recently turned forty-three, and I feel like with each passing year I take life more and more seriously than before. Some of it comes with paranoias and fear, and some of it entails celebrating the beauty of life in ways I didn’t before, celebrating the gift of life with more focus and recognition.

Last Shabbos, I was home alone with our dog Ezzy. As I was under the weather during the week, I decided to remain alone Friday night without hosting any guests, including our regulars. Yet, on Shabbos morning, despite getting over two feet of snow from Friday morning until Shabbos morning, twelve Jewish men came to shul so we could daven with a minyan, I could get Maftir in honor of my mother’s yahrzeit, and we had a great Kiddush lunch afterwards in shul.

Back to Friday night. I lit seven candles for our family, as I do each time Chavie is away, and I started singing “Vezakeini,” asking Hashem to bless me and Chavie that our children grow to be pious Jews who serve Hashem with love and awe and brighten the world with all that is good.

And I started crying.

And I couldn’t stop.

I was crying because, like every Jewish parent, this is our most fervent wish: we want our children to be sincere in their relationship with HaKadosh Baruch Hu. We can teach them, inspire them, role model for them, but ultimately, we need Hashem to answer our many tefillos that the outcome should be positive. Having the house to myself with the inner and outer quiet gave me the opportunity to tap into some personal tefillos that I don’t get to do when the house is hustling and bustling. I also cried because I was thinking of my mom and her tefillos, her weekly licht bentching, and how she certainly davened so hard for us. I figured that now too, every Friday before Shabbos in Gan Eden, she goes to a corner, maybe with her mother, my Bubbe Esther, and davens for me, for Chavie, for our kids, for my siblings and their families, and now for her great-grandchild, Mayer Dov Ber, the newly born son of my niece Mushkie and her husband Menachem.

It was a mixture of hope, sadness, and catharsis.

In this week’s Torah portion, Vayechi, the last in the Book of Bereishis, we read about Yaakov Avinu, our patriarch Jacob, blessing his grandchildren. In Jewish tradition when we bless our children, we do so by asking Hashem to bless them to grow like Ephraim and Menashe, Joseph and Osnas’s two boys. Growing up, my Aba would follow his father’s tradition and bless us before the Friday night Shabbos Seudah. It’s not a traditional Chabad custom, but that was our family minhag and I adored it. There is something very special about a father placing his hands on his child’s head and giving them a berachah.

The Chasam Sofer writes that one of the reasons we do the father-child blessing on Shabbos is because during the week we are so burdened by earning a living that life can be so overwhelming that when we daven, we are distracted and don’t focus properly. On Shabbos, there’s no work and less distractions, making it the perfect time to give a proper, focused, heartfelt berachah to our children.

It is this sincerity that I see in gerim, this sincerity that the Chasam Sofer is referring to, that I strive to internalize. I feel like sincerity and focus are intertwined and can only benefit us in all aspects of life. The famed Chassid, Reb Binyomin Kletzker, who was a student of the Baal HaTanya, was once standing in the forest deep in thought and his employees were nudging him to give them work instructions for the jobsite. He remained focused on his thoughts, so they nudged him again, “Reb Binyomin, we need to work, guide us please!” He said “soon.” They nudged him a third time “Reb Binyomin, there is a time and place for everything. Thinking lofty ideas of Chassidic teachings is for shul during davening, not now in the forest.” To this, he responded, “If thoughts of timber can enter my mind during davening, it’s not the end of the world if the spiritual ideas of prayer enter my mind during work hours in the forest.”

Sincerity, sincerity, sincerity.

Rabbi Chaim as a toddler with his father, Levy Bruk

This Friday we will have a ta’anis, the fast day of Asarah B’Tevet. Hashem, through His prophets, gave us fast days as an opportune time for introspection, and we must ask ourselves: Are we doing it for real? Are we sincere? Do we mean it? Is Yiddishkeit just something we were born into or is it something we believe to be Holy of Holies? We don’t have to be perfect but we must always strive to have sincere moments of the King and I and then the passion will be revealed.

Rabbi Chaim Bruk is co-CEO of Chabad Lubavitch of Montana and spiritual leader of The Shul of Bozeman. For comments or to partner in our holy work, e-mail rabbi@jewishmontana.com or visit JewishMontana.com/Donate.