Suspense is a state of mind that fuses uncertainty, anxiety, and waiting. When we hold our breath with fear or excitement, uncertain about what will happen, that is suspense. It may be sitting by the phone or the mailbox, waiting for a call or a letter. It may be standing in line at the check-out or sitting in traffic, impatient about the unknown cause for the delay, but wishing we could move ahead. Suspense can also be self-induced, by opting to read a story where mystery, intrigue, or danger are involved. Part of the inducement to read mystery novels is because experiencing someone else’s suspense is exciting. Vicarious suspense is often exhilarating. Riding a roller coaster that inches its way up the incline builds the suspense of anticipated thrills when the ride suddenly descends at breakneck speed. Many people love suspense. Others avoid it.
There is suspense about current events and the news. What will happen? Will they attack? Who will win the debate or the election? How much longer are we safe here? The uncertainty, the waiting, and the associated anxiety, fear, and worry are suspenseful. When the topic involves someone else, it can be entertaining, like a game. We wait with excitement as the events unfold to find out who wins and who loses—the answers to the suspenseful questions. But what if that suspense is about you, your future, and your fate? That suspense is not very entertaining at all. It can be downright scary. Being caught in the suspense of uncertainty can be terrifying. Prolonged suspense and unresolved uncertainty can wear you down to the point where your suspense is replaced with panic; your anxiety can become fear and even depression, chas v’shalom.
Many years ago, I came across a kabbalistic thought. In the best-known of the 13 Ani Maamin principles, we assert that we believe in the coming of the Moshiach. The principle states that “although he may tarry, despite that I will wait for him each day.” We’ve been waiting for centuries. We recite that principle and we sing it in songs. But when we declare that we will wait for him despite the delay, what is our state of mind? Are we nonchalant that “we’ve been waiting for two millennia and are still waiting?” Or, is there a restless edge to our waiting, a feeling of suspense that we await Moshiach with anxious anticipation and longing? The kabbalistic thought is that each time a person feels anxiety or worry about any of life’s uncertainties, regardless of whether it is something dreaded or not, we should channel that state of mind into longing for Moshiach. The emotional suspense we feel about mundane matters is meant to give us a taste of what a faithful Jew should feel spiritually in restless anticipation and longing for redemption.
Waiting for Moshiach should be that ongoing restless excitement that we usually associate with many other life events. Times are suspenseful right now, and many of us are in a state of worry and dread. That is real, valid, and quite normal. But it is also an excellent energy that we can sublimate to a spiritual sense that we are just as restless for Moshiach to arrive, and hopefully bring an end to all of our uncertainty and fear. n
Rabbi Dr. Dovid Fox is a forensic and clinical psychologist, and director of Chai Lifeline Crisis Services. To contact Chai Lifeline’s 24-hour crisis helpline, call 855-3-CRISIS or email crisis@chailifeline.org. Learn more at www.chailifeline.org/crisis.
