By Sivan Rahav-Meir
The Significance Of My Birthday . . . And Yours
Last week was my birthday, 30 Sivan. I did not attach much importance to this day until Rabbi Yosef Yitzchak Jacobson—to whom I am so grateful for changing my attitude—explained what is so special about birthdays, particularly for our generation.
“In 1988,” he related, “the Lubavitcher Rebbe proclaimed a new birthday campaign. He did this just over a month after his wife passed away when, on the day of her birth, he launched ‘The Birthday Campaign’ to commemorate and honor her. He now insisted that we should mark our birthdays with large parties and an abundance of joy.
“But why did he create this campaign? In my opinion, our generation is challenged when it comes to happiness. One of the greatest challenges is to be happy, remembering that you did not come into this world by chance, but in order for your unique soul to fulfill a unique mission.
“Today there is so much confusion, bewilderment, sensitivity, and vulnerability. It sometimes seems that the greater the affluence, the greater the suffering. A birthday celebration is meant to remind you that G-d believes in you and your talents, that your existence is precious to Him.
“There are special customs associated with this day: On our birthdays, we are supposed to give tzedakah, pray, read Psalms, engage in soul-searching, rejoice with family and friends, and adopt a resolution for self-improvement that we will carefully keep from this day forward.”
And there is one more important birthday custom: Blessing others. So I would like to bless each one of you that you will fulfill all the desires of your heart for worthwhile purposes. Mazal tov to you on the day when you were sent into this world.
A New Tradition To Make Amends
Hadar and Shai Buzaglo from Dimona have started a new tradition. They wrote to me as follows:
“Shalom, Sivan. Something inspiring and historic happened two days ago in our home. On the 29th of Sivan, 3,334 years ago, the spies embarked on their journey from the desert to the Promised Land. This was a trip that lasted 40 days and ended in tragedy on Tishah B’Av, when they returned to the nation.
“They had lost their faith, convincing the nation that this was a dangerous land and delivering a slanderous report.
“We now have an opportunity during the next 40 days to make amends for the sin of the spies, and this is what we are trying to do. On the day the spies embarked on their unfortunate journey, more than 70 people—from all sectors of the public—came to our home to express their love for the Land. We learned words of adulation—divided into the 40 days of the spies’ excursion—that had been written in a special booklet by Rabbi Benayah Lifshitz regarding the uniqueness of the Land of Israel. We sang many songs and niggunim (liturgical melodies) about the Land. We ate the best fruits that the Land of Israel produces and, in the end, it was a beautiful gathering of the children of Israel.
“We want to publicize this idea in order for people to open their minds and their hearts. It was during this time of year that the spies toured these environs and, because of their negativity, saw everything in a bad light. On the day in which they began their trip, we began to make amends for their misdeeds. Everyone has the chance to join us in this campaign in the days ahead, to look only positively at the Land and its people since, ultimately, ‘the Land is very, very good.’”
A Chief Rabbi And A Great Father, Too
The wonderful pictures you see below were sent to me by Merav Amor, the daughter of Rabbi Mordechai Eliyahu, of blessed memory. We just marked the 13th anniversary of his passing. Rabbi Eliyahu was the chief rabbi, the Rishon LeTzion, a Torah sage and a Kabbalist, but Merav only wanted to speak about him as a father:
“He was the greatest father it was possible to be. He would draw my notebook covers for me. His handwriting was also exceptionally beautiful. He would sit together with me, sketch, and then we would color the covers together. He was the busiest person I ever met, yet he knew how to be completely there for me. He would put everything aside to sit patiently and unhurriedly with me.
“He would also study all the religious subjects—Torah, Prophets, and halachah—with me before exams. This was important to him. He would always ask me questions that were especially easy. I understand today that the main thing for him was that I should feel self-confident prior to the exam.
“When I came home with a grade, he would say: ‘Mom gives you a reward for a “very good,” and I give you a reward for anything less than a “very good.’” He would praise me even for grades that were not so good. He wanted me to feel good and successful even if I did not receive a hundred percent.
“On Shabbat afternoons I would give a quiz on the weekly Torah portion to the kids in the neighborhood and pass out prizes. On Friday, with the utmost seriousness, my father would help me prepare for the quiz. He composed the questions with me and even took an interest in the prizes that would be given. I have binders with all of these quizzes, written in his beautiful handwriting.
“Remembering my father all the time empowers me both as a mother and as a teacher. All of us are busy, the world is always calling us, but my father knew how to stop and be there solely for me, together with so much wisdom and understanding.”
How Are Things At Home?
It’s difficult when our spouse is not satisfied with us, and the wife of Korach was not satisfied with him. The Torah portion we will read in the synagogue on Shabbat describes Korach’s famous challenge to the leadership of Moshe and Aharon. But what was at the bottom of Korach’s rebellion in the first place?
Our sages explain that Korach’s wife would nag at him day and night, berating him: Why are the positions of Moshe and Aharon higher than yours? Why are you not like them? What about your honor and reputation? This verbal poison slowly seeped into Korach, with tragic effect.
Our lives are full of challenges, and our experiences within the home determine how we confront them. The briefest interactions and conversations with our immediate family members—between the kitchen and the living room—can have an enormous impact upon us and our general attitude toward life. If negativity and criticism hold sway, these domestic contacts can create rancor, belligerence, and jealousy, but if the prevailing mood in the home is positive and encouraging, the family will be full of faith, acceptance, and joy.
Our commentators suggest that we check the attitude of those closest to us to determine where they are leading us, just as we must examine our own attitude to evaluate our effect on them.
Envy Less, Live Longer
Envy. It’s the root of the tragic controversy that we just read on Shabbat (in Israel). On the surface, it would seem that Korach had ideological reasons to oppose Moshe Rabbeinu and Aharon HaKohen. Yet, in truth, Korach was simply jealous of their leadership positions. Korach was blessed with enormous wealth, a family, and served an important role in the Mishkan service. However, all this was not enough for him.
Therefore, the punishment that Korach and his followers received was highly symbolic. The earth opened and they were swallowed up, since envy does not take a person anywhere but rather buries him alive where he stands; he disappears and is erased.
Rabbi Elazar summed up the danger of envy and two associated character traits as follows: “Envy, lust, and (the pursuit of) honor remove a person from the world” (Pirkei Avot, 4:28).
In other words, envy is not just a bad quality or just another problem. It takes a person out of this world.
So what’s the solution? To take to heart Ben Zoma’s response to his own question: “Who is rich?” he asks, and immediately answers: “The one who rejoices in his lot” (Pirkei Avot 4:1).
The truly rich individual is grateful for what he has—all the good things he has been given—and he does not envy what others have. This is a lifetime mission, especially in an era of social media. If envy removes us from this world, a joyful and grateful attitude imparts more life within it. n
Sivan Rahav-Meir, married to Yedidya and a mother of five, lives in Jerusalem. She has been a journalist in the Israeli media from the age of six and has interviewed thousands of people on television, radio, and in print. Globes named her Israel’s most beloved journalist, Forbes listed her as one of the most influential women in Israel, and the Jerusalem Post ranked her among the 50 most influential Jewish people in the world.
Sivan lectures in Israel and abroad on Judaism, Israel, and new media. In recent years, she began writing The Daily Thought, a brief commentary on current events that is circulated in Jerusalem and translated into 17 languages for global distribution. This volunteer-run project provides spiritual uplift for Jews and non-Jews all over the world.
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