Musings Of A Shliach From Montana
The Rebbe Zatza”l would often emphasize the danger and unhealthiness of talking negatively about Jews, in his words, “Begnusan Shel Yisroel.”
So, I am going to tread carefully.
On Tuesday of last week, a well-known frum philanthropist called me to ask if I could help him put together a minyan at the Montana resort where he was staying on Shabbos. I encouraged his group to come to Bozeman for Shabbos, but they wanted to stay at the resort. So, I did what I’ve done in the past and I asked Shloime Zionce, the well-known writer, journalist, and all-around good guy to post a message on his social media, something along the lines of: “Looking for eight guys to come to Montana from Thursday through Sunday to help with a Minyan. Flight tickets, lodging, and car will be provided. Please only message (no calls) if you have eight guys willing and able…”
Pretty clear and straightforward, or so I thought.
Over 235 individuals reached out to me. My phone blew up, but unnecessary. First off, many of the people didn’t pay attention to what we posted and messaged me: “I am ready to join the group,” while others asked if it was for guys only or also the wives. And still others said, “We are two Chevra and we’re ready to come.” Secondly, based on the urgency and the messages received, it became clear to me that we have too many bochurim between the ages of 18 and 40 who are desperately seeking excitement and meaning in their lives, and on a moment’s notice, were not just ready to come, but were practically begging for the chance to be one of the “chosen ones” to come to Montana. It was like they were waiting for someone to show up and bring some joy into their life.
I get it.
Montana is beautiful and a free trip to paradise is a free trip to paradise. In addition, many of the Chevra that reached out were working guys, including a wonderful group from Lakewood and another from New York, but most of those writing to me wrote in a style that was clearly desperate and it really got me thinking. Sipuk Hachaim, or satisfaction in life, is so important, but why are so many of our own beautiful Jews who went to Yeshiva, daven three times a day, and consider themselves frum, so desperate for meaningful extracurricular activities?
The messages I received came from Crown Heights, Lakewood, the Five Towns, Flatbush, Monsey, Kiryas Yoel, and other beautiful communities. One fellow messaged me from a UK number and wrote: “Are tickets from London an option?” I was baffled.
While chinuch is a topic I’ve addressed before and there is always room for positive development, I believe there is something rotten at the core once we are “out of the system. Or rather, once we are in the Shidduch “waiting game” we lack the internal meaning of what it means to be a Shomer Torah u’Mitzvos, a G-d fearing, Torah-oriented, Jew. We are allowed to have fun, and I want everyone to experience the beauty of Montana, but the obsession of constantly seeking meaning on the outside instead of finding it within is not healthy and is not Torah-based.
On Monday of last week, my son Menny finished an amazing month as a camper at Camp Gan Yisroel in Parksville, New York. I came to New York to fetch him, and we did a father-son road trip to Baltimore. Menny, like all our children, is adopted, and was born outside of Baltimore. We spent three weeks in Baltimore around the time of his birth, and his Bris was held at Chabad of Downtown Baltimore, led by Rabbi and Mrs. Levi Druk. Over the last eight months, Menny has been asking to visit Baltimore, to see the place where he was born, so I told him that if he makes it though the entire month at camp, I will take him on a two-day road trip to Baltimore.
So, Monday afternoon we headed to the Verrazano Bridge and on to New Jersey, taking I-95 all the way to Maryland. We visited the hospital where he was born, the family who hosted his Sholom Zochor, the place of his Bris, the courthouse where his adoption was finalized, and the Chabad center where his birth mother found refuge. We enjoyed a great time together (I know my Baltimore readers will send messages asking me why I didn’t come visit, so let me explain that the focus of the trip was Menny, so no distractions were allowed.)
Just before we headed to BWI airport to fly home (which took 18 hours and will be discussed at a later time), we went to Fort McHenry. During the war of 1812, this place became a pivotal stronghold for America’s victory over the British. On September 13, 1814, the British Navy, which at the time was the most powerful navy in the world, sent a force of bomb and rocket ships to dislodge the defenders from their fortifications at Fort McHenry. For twenty-five hours, bombs and rockets rained on the Fort but on the morning of September 14th, when the smoke and fog cleared, the defenders were still there forcing the British land and sea forces to withdraw, unable to take the city of Baltimore. A lawyer by the name of Francis Scott Key witnessed the bombardment and was so inspired that he wrote a poem called “The Defense of Fort McHenry,” which was later put to music and renamed “The Star-Spangled Banner.”
It was so inspiring to be at this monumental location, as Menny has always been a student of the Revolutionary War and American history and the various battles. He was taking it all in and it reminded me that everyone needs to have something worth fighting for.
We all need to explore our internal core—what gives us meaning and purpose—and know if we are ready to live by those values and, if necessary, fight for them with every fiber of our being. When Francis Scott Key saw the flag waving in the early morning, he wrote “And the rockets’ red glare, the bombs bursting in air, gave proof through the night that our flag was still there; O say does that star-spangled banner yet wave, O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave?”
Are we brave? Are we principled? Do we know why we are an Am Kadosh and how powerful that is?
Indeed, I did find an amazing group of guys to join the philanthropist at the resort and make the Minyan, which included a Minyan for Shacharis on Sunday and even for Yom Kippur Katan outside of Yellowstone National Park for Mincha. Yet, we must have a conversation on how to imbue our children from a young age that there is soulfulness in life that should fill us with internal happiness and purpose, happy to be a Yid, a human being, and a productive member of society. I know that not everyone is a bookworm, nor is everyone the Yeshiva type, but purpose isn’t synonymous with Yeshiva or seforim, but it is synonymous with values and meaning, and being a fruitful Yid, making inner changes in ourselves for the better and transforming the world to bring Mashiach.
I remember reading that Rav Shmuel Rozovsky shared what he heard from his Rosh Yeshiva Rav Shimon Shkop. Rav Shimon said that when he was in Volozhin, he wouldn’t enter the Shiurim of the Netziv. One night after midnight, he was studying Bava Basra and didn’t understand one of the Rashbam’s explanations on the Gemara. Suddenly, the Netziv walked into the Beis Midrash and Rav Shimon walked over to him and asked him to explain the Rashbam. The Netziv said to Rav Shimon “Son! For this Rashbam, I have prayed at the holy resting places of the sages, to gain understanding.” Rav Shimon started attending the Netziv’s Shiurim.
He was yearning to understand a Rashbam. He was willing to pray for a better understanding. He found beauty and meaning in a Rashbam.
No, we are not the Netziv or Rav Shimon, but even a non-Yeshiva-oriented Bochur should find some Geshmak in a Shiur, in a Torah experience, in a class on Chassidus, in having a job, in volunteering with Chessed, and if they aren’t finding it, it’s not on them, but on us. We must show our youth that whatever “type” they are, the goal isn’t to become a “hedge fund” guy or a “cash advance” guy or an “Amazon” guy, but to create a business with Yosher, with ethics and morals, and to do so while remaining steadfast in our connection to Hashem. Therapists talk so often about people finding purpose and this is something the Torah has been screaming from the rooftops for all eternity. Each Yid has a Neshama with limitless value and connection to Almighty G-d, and every kid should be raised to hear that, to know that, and desire more of that.
In this week’s Haftorah, the third of the pre-Tisha B’Av (Three of Destruction) Haftaras, we read the painful words of Yeshayahu (Isaiah). “Hear heaven, give ear, earth, I raised and exalted my children, yet they rebelled against me.” Yeshaya HaNavi bemoans that Klal Yisroel are going through the motions of being a Yid but have lost touch with the inner message of Torah. They are doing everything by rote and have lost all enthusiasm in their actions. When we don’t mean it, it doesn’t only affect our relationship with Hashem, but also with our fellow human beings. Even an ox, says Yeshaya, knows its owner, but Jews who do things by rote forget that they have an Owner, HaKadosh Baruch Hu, and are totally misguided. Enthusiasm in life and in Jewish life comes from a basic premise of recognition that I am connected to an infinite G-d. Hashem begs us not to bring offerings that are in vain because they don’t mean anything when they are done by rote, without any meaning.
Before Tisha B’Av is a good time to reevaluate our relationship with Hashem, making sure we aren’t doing things because we “have to” or because “we are scared not to,” but because, like those at Fort McHenry, we have unbreakable values and want to retain a strong, meaningful bond with Hashem and all that He wants of us. n
Rabbi Chaim Bruk is co-CEO of Chabad Lubavitch of Montana and spiritual leader of The Shul of Bozeman. For comments or to partner in our holy work, e-mail rabbi@jewishmontana.com or visit JewishMontana.com/Donate.
