There are times when we teach the most by saying nothing.
When Yosef revealed himself to the brothers, “his brothers could not respond to him because they were shocked and confused.” The Talmud (Chagigah, 4B) records that Rav Elazar would cry when he read this verse, reflecting, “If the brothers could not absorb the rebuke of a human being, how will we be able to withstand the rebuke of the Almighty?!”
What rebuke?! Nowhere in the verse does it say anything about Yosef rebuking his brothers! He identified himself, asked if his father was still alive, and then proceeded to graciously make them feel better, attributing his sale to Egypt to a Divine plan orchestrated for their benefit, and inviting them to move to Egypt where he would take care of them. Where is the rebuke?
Rav Yechiel Yaakov Weinberg and Rav Yosef Zev Lipovitz were two unique 20th century students of the Mussar schools of Europe who offered the same poignant answer to this question. The greatest and most profound rebuke is not a lesson taught with words. The greatest and most profound rebuke is to see how others react to similar challenges, how they are rooted in and driven by higher and greater things, how they have mastered the art of living.
The brothers had permitted their issues with Yosef to lead them to sell him into slavery. When they then saw how Yosef acted towards them when the shoe was on the other foot, how graciously he forgave them and reached out to them to make them feel comfortable rather than seizing the opportunity to put them in their place, this was the most searing rebuke. Look how he acts! How did we allow ourselves to stoop so low and act so differently?
This is what made Rav Elazar cry. If we will not even measure up to the shining example of another human being, how small will we feel when we encounter the Divine? Seeing greatness reminds us of what truly matters, and redirects us from allowing our lives to be driven by the trivial and unimportant.
That is the greatest rebuke. The most profound lessons are not the things we say but those we teach by our example.
Rabbi Moshe Hauer is executive vice president of the Orthodox Union (OU), the nation’s largest Orthodox Jewish umbrella organization.
