Musings Of A Shliach From Montana
Menny and Nissim embracing upon Nissim’s arrival to Bozeman
Menny and Nissim rocking it on stage
Rabbi Chaim and Chana Laya having fun at the photo booth
A glimpse at the dancing at Menny’s simcha
I was, and still am, speechless. It’s been a week since Menny’s bar mitzvah celebration and despite being a lifelong writer, for the first time in my life I’m actually speechless. Lacking the proper words, I’ve been struggling with how to express my joy, emotions, and gratitude for what we experienced.
So instead of trying to put it into words, I will just share what we experienced, and if a little emotion gets embedded in the story, I’ll consider it a bonus. Let’s start with the facts: When 120 people show up in Bozeman from out-of-town and another 200 join in the celebrations from our local community, it hits deep. We feel the immense love and it feels really good. People can claim they don’t need validation or support, but it’s not true. Sure, we shouldn’t be dependent on the likes and whims of other people, and our self-worth should not come from outside sources, but a healthy human being appreciates the love and joy that is shared by the people in his life, especially from the people we’ve had an impact on or with whom we were blessed to have as family and friends.
On Monday morning, May 4, the day before Lag B’Omer, we hosted about 150 people at our Bozeman Chabad Center where Menny leined (read from) the Torah’s reading of Behar and also was called for his first Bozeman aliyah. He read beautifully, flawlessly, and it was a nachas to witness. He doesn’t have the easiest time with limudei kodesh; he doesn’t read Hebrew like me at one hundred miles per hour; he doesn’t have a lot of zitzfleish, so seeing him up there confidently leining all three aliyos reflected the hard work that he put into it over the past year. While he received Shlishi, the first two aliyos were given to his two tutors, Rabbi Shmuli Bronstein of Chabad in South Scottsdale, Arizona, who taught him the kriah, and my brother-in-law Rabbi Mendel Backman, who taught him halacha and general Jewish studies. Chavie and I felt that the people who needed to be flanking him most during this epic moment were those who invested their time and energy into his holy journey, into his chinuch.
We have three sifrei Torah and Menny had the honor to be my mother’s first grandchild to read from “Chanchy’s Torah,” the Torah dedicated in her memory. As such, we honored my two brothers, Yochanan and Yanky, to do hagbah and gelilah respectively, connecting our family with the neshamah of our dear mother. All our guests celebrated with a gourmet brunch, one of over ten gourmet meals that Chavie catered and hosted for our beloved guests who came to our simcha from out-of-town.
It felt so good and heartwarming for Chavie and I to be enveloped with love. My dad and step-mother from Israel, my in-laws from Texas, all my siblings with almost all their children, seven of Chavie’s siblings, and many of their kids, and so many friends and relatives who made the schlep. From Kiryas Yoel to Marine Park, Pittsburgh to Crown Heights, Monsey to Oklahoma City, so many people made the effort to be here. And it means so much. We know how challenging it is to get to Bozeman, especially in the off-season with no direct flights to the East Coast, so it really does take determination.
This week’s parashah, Bamidbar, the first in Numbers, we read about Hashem counting the Jewish people. Rashi tells us right at the onset of the parashah: “Because the Israelites are so dear to Hashem, He counts them at every point: When they left Egypt, He counted them, and when some of them fell during the incident of the Golden Calf, He counted them to know how many remained, and now, once He came to rest His Presence among them, he counted them: on the first of Nissan the Tabernacle was erected, and on the first of Iyar He counted them.”
In Sefer Taam V’Daat al HaTorah, Rav Moshe Sternbuch, shlita, quotes his teacher, Rav Moshe Schneider, zt’l, as explaining this Rashi as follows: The Gemara says in Bava Metziah that a person naturally checks their pocket, their cash, their wallet all the time. Because we cherish our money and when something is cherished, we check on it constantly. Hashem cherishes Klal Yisrael and therefore is inclined to check on our numbers, inspect our value, all the time to remind Himself how blessed He is to have us. From the context of Rashi, the Rebbe, zt’l, explains that Hashem counts us repeatedly at every junction in our history when there is a significant development inspiring Hashem to love us more. So, when we left Egypt and the Mishkan(Tabernacle) was erected, two monumental moments in the development of the Jewish people, Hashem counted us, expressing His love for us. What was the development after the Sin of the Golden Calf? One would think that the Golden Calf was a moment when Hashem would prefer not to remember us and express His love for us. Yet, because the sin was the worst of the worst, when we were all deserving of annihilation, and it was only Hashem’s infinite mercy for us that most Jews survived, it also turns out to be an ultimate moment of love. It was a big moment for our nation’s journey and our relationship with Hashem.
From a different angle: the parashah begins with Hashem speaking to us “Bamidbar Sinai,” in the Sinai Desert. In a sense Hashem is counting us just for being in the desert, never forgetting that we followed Him blindly into the desert and accepted that He had a plan for us. One of my favorite melodies is the “Koh Omar Hashem Zacharti Lach Chessed N’urayich.” Yirmiyahu is telling us that we are worthy and special because, “I remember to you the lovingkindness of your youth, the love of your nuptials, your following Me in the desert, in a land not sown.” All this was to say that being enveloped by Hashem’s love, being counted, being seen, being remembered is something that induces reciprocal love from us to Him. He’s counting us and we are counting on Him.
On Tuesday evening, three hundred guests joined us in downtown Bozeman, at the Kimpton Armory Hotel, for a one-of-a-kind, first-of-its-kind event for Montana. It was truly an evening of joy, celebrated with gourmet food (one meal that Chavie didn’t cater; we had an amazing caterer from Los Angeles), meaningful derashos, a memorable video of Menny’s thirteen years on Earth, joyous rocking and dancing, and concluding with a full concert with rapper Nissim Black accompanied by Menny on stage with him for much of it. Nissim is a class-act and Menny is a big fan, and our simcha was elevated due to his presence. The simcha in the room was genuine. Everyone there wanted to be there so the entire evening was on a different plane.
I personally danced like never before. With every fiber of my being, I danced at the simcha of my boy who I was honored to adopt at birth and who is on a journey of growth. Menny and his sisters were put into our laps by Hashem and we’re doing everything in our power to give them the love, values, and ideals that will give them maximum success in life. For Chavie and I to bring our son to this moment was so special; we don’t take it for granted. Yet, doing it while surrounded by so much love, so much laugher, all our families and friends, made all the difference, and we are so blessed for it.
On Tuesday evening towards the end of the concert, I realized that my jaw was physically hurting, and I realized that the simcha was so real, the dancing so infinite, and the smiling so profound that it had an effect and I hope it never stops.
None of us know exactly how our children will turn out and what path they will forge in their future, but what I do know is that creating memorable moments of simcha and Yiddishkeit, where Judaism is joyous and meaningful, gives them a much better chance of remaining true to all we cherish as Jews.
And so, once again, join me in wishing Menny a hearty mazel tov!
Rabbi Chaim Bruk is co-CEO of Chabad Lubavitch of Montana and spiritual leader of The Shul of Bozeman. For comments or to partner in our holy work, e-mail [email protected] or visit JewishMontana.com/Donate.
