A Journey to Recovery: Shimmy’s Story
I’m Shimmy, * a CFO and father of three from New Jersey. From the outside, my life looked solid, even enviable. I was the guy people relied on, the steady hand in the boardroom, the dad people saw shteiging with his sons at Avos U’Banim every winter Motzaei Shabbos, the one who never missed a single spring soccer game his daughter played. I prided myself on showing up. What people did not see was how much effort it took just to hold everything together.
The pressure built slowly. The weight of forecasts, cash flow decisions, and numbers that carried real consequences followed me home. I replayed conversations in my head, worried about decisions, outcomes, and expectations. Over time, stress turned into anxiety, and anxiety turned into habits I told myself I could control. That is when alcohol crept in. I was not the guy going crazy at the kiddush club. I was too proper for that. But more nights than not, I would end up passed out on the couch after telling myself I would have just a bit more, one glass turning into several, all in the name of taking the edge off.
I became more emotionally distant and irritable. I snapped at my kids over small things, and withdrew from my wife emotionally, as if a wall had come between us. I worried about what people would think if they knew that my carefully built image was crumbling. The thought of anyone finding out filled me with dread, even as I tried to convince myself that I had it under control.
The moment everything shifted came one quiet evening after dinner. My wife asked me to sit down. There was no anger in her voice, just concern. She told me that she was scared of losing me, that I was still physically there, but emotionally absent, and she feared that my drinking could take me away for good. She said she saw me spiraling and could not pretend anymore that things were fine. Hearing it out loud broke through the denial I had been living in. For the first time, I admitted I needed help.
The idea of treatment terrified me. Leaving my young children felt unbearable. They did not understand why I would be away and just wanted me to be there. I worried about how they would handle it, about the missed moments, and the gap my absence would create. Stepping away from work felt impossible. I worried about exposure, about what people would think, and the professional consequences.
When I connected with Recreate Behavioral Health, they met my fears with understanding and support. Case management helped coordinate FMLA leave and set up a schedule for calls and FaceTime with my kids so they could see me and hear my voice regularly. I knew my needs and theirs would be managed, and that gave me a measure of peace that made taking the next step possible.
Recreate had options close to home, but once I accepted that I needed help, I also knew I wanted to do this the right way. I felt that stepping out of my usual environment would give me the space I needed to focus fully on myself and my recovery without the distractions of daily life. Going to Florida was not the easiest choice, but it was the most honest one, and it set me up for the best chance at success.
Early on, I had a conversation with Mendel, the case manager who works closely with frum clients. I shared my concerns openly. Kosher food, Shabbos, time and space to daven. These details mattered deeply to me, and Mendel listened carefully, reassuring me and explaining they would arrange everything. They would provide meals, respect the Shabbos, and arrange time for davening. By the time I boarded the plane to Florida, all the arrangements were in place. Knowing this gave me peace of mind and allowed me to focus on taking the next steps toward recovery.
I will admit, I had modest expectations. In my mind, I pictured the food resembling typical kosher airline meals. Reheated frozen peas, a few baby carrots, and a freezer burned entrée sealed in plastic. Instead, when the food arrived, I was genuinely surprised. It was wholesome, flavorful, and well presented. It felt intentional. That moment stayed with me. I remember thinking that they really cared.
That small experience set the tone for everything that followed.
Being out-of-state was not the easiest choice, but it was the right one for my recovery. Sometimes getting away is exactly what you need to reset. When I arrived in Florida, the air felt different. The pace slowed. For the first time in years, I was not rushing to the next meeting or checking my phone every few minutes.
Although I missed my kids deeply, gradually they adjusted and the FaceTime and call schedule allowed them to see that I was present in their lives even from afar. My wife and I began to understand that the help I was getting allowed me to become a better father and husband, which brought a sense of comfort to both of us.
Treatment was intense and honest. I confronted more than just alcohol. I had to look closely at the anxiety, the perfectionism, and the constant pressure I had placed on myself for years. Therapy peeled back the layers I had avoided. There were uncomfortable moments, moments of clarity, and moments when I finally admitted how exhausted I really was.
Throughout it all, Recreate continued to respect my religious observance. Meals, schedules, and daily rhythms were thoughtfully coordinated so I could stay grounded while focusing on recovery. I never felt like I had to explain myself or justify what mattered to me. I felt understood as a whole person.
As the weeks passed, something shifted. The noise in my head quieted. The constant urgency faded. I began to feel present again. When I spoke to my wife and kids, I was truly listening. I started to believe that balance was possible, not just in theory, but in real life.
Coming home was emotional, but I returned with tools I did not have before and a clarity I had been missing for years. Stepping away from my family and my job had been one of the hardest decisions I ever made, but it became one of the most important. Ultimately, my wife and kids are happier now, and we are more connected than ever. Taking the time to focus on my recovery allowed me to reclaim my life, strengthen our family bonds, and dramatically improve my professional life. At a recent board meeting, the president of the company told me that I had always been good, but my sharpness and focus after taking medical leave were on a whole new level. If only he knew the real work that had gone into getting here. I am now able to lead with renewed confidence, clarity, and balance, and I feel the difference in every decision I make.
I choose to keep my recovery low key. Aside from my wife, a close friend, and my therapist, I do not discuss it. Maybe one day I will feel more open, but for now, this is my comfort level. Nevertheless, I felt it was imperative to share my journey publicly under a pseudonym. I want others to know that help is out there, that recovery is attainable, and that seeking help can be life-saving.
My story is a lesson. Even someone with a successful career and a full family life, someone who appears to have everything under control, can reach a breaking point. Getting help is not a failure. Taking time to reset is not a weakness. With the right support, recovery is possible, and it is possible to return stronger, more present, and more grounded at work, home, and even within yourself.
If my experience resonates, you do not have to face things alone. The Recreate admissions team is available to answer questions, explain the process, and help guide anyone seeking support. Everything is handled confidentially. They can be reached at 877-731-6180 or online at RecreateBehavioralHealth.com.
*Name has been changed to protect privacy.
