Coming Of Age
By: @premingerplasticsurgery
There are certain weekends that make you acutely aware of the passage of time. Not because anything particularly dramatic happens, but because so much of life seems to happen all at once. This weekend was one of those weekends.
My family gathered in the Five Towns to celebrate my nephew’s bar mitzvah. It was a beautiful occasion, filled with family, friends, pride, and the unmistakable joy of watching a young boy take his place as a young man in the Jewish community. And then, almost as quickly as everyone had arrived, the weekend was over. My older children headed back to college, one to Harvard and the other to Emory, and I found myself once again saying goodbye. A bar mitzvah and two college departures in the same weekend. Three reminders that time does not stand still, no matter how much we might occasionally wish it would.
Perhaps it is because I am a mother. Perhaps it is because I am a plastic surgeon. Or perhaps it is simply because I am approaching that stage of life when the milestones seem to arrive at increasing speed. I find myself thinking more and more about how we measure time. When our children are little, we measure life in firsts. First words, first steps, first days of school, first teeth lost. Every achievement is photographed, celebrated, and carefully recorded. We are so focused on what comes next that we rarely stop to consider how quickly what came before is disappearing. Then, seemingly overnight, the firsts become lasts. The last day of elementary school. The last family vacation before college. The last time everyone lives under the same roof full-time. And, of course, those bittersweet Sunday evenings when we send our children back to their respective campuses, knowing that they are exactly where they are supposed to be, even if we wish they were a little closer.
A bar mitzvah is a particularly beautiful and deliberate expression of this passage of time. In Jewish tradition, turning thirteen marks a transition into religious responsibility. However, there is no dramatic physical transformation that occurs overnight. The child who goes to sleep at twelve is essentially the same person who wakes up at thirteen. Yet the significance of that birthday is profound. It is a reminder that milestones aren’t necessarily about how we look, but about who we are becoming.
As a plastic surgeon, I spend my days thinking about aging, although perhaps not in the way people imagine. Patients often come to see me because they notice a change in the mirror. A jawline that is no longer as defined. Eyelids that seem heavier. A face that looks older or more tired than the person feels. Sometimes the motivation is a big birthday. Sometimes it is a wedding, a reunion, or the graduation of a child. These events are not merely dates on a calendar. They prompt reflection. They make us take stock of where we have been and where we are going. I have always believed that the best plastic surgery doesn’t attempt to erase the years. Rather, it helps people feel comfortable and confident as they move through them. There is a tremendous difference between wanting to look younger at all costs and wanting to look like the best version of yourself at the age you actually are. I don’t want to be twenty-five again. There are too many things I know now that I didn’t know then, too many relationships I cherish, too many experiences I would never trade, and too much that I have already learned the hard way. But I certainly understand wanting the face in the mirror to reflect the energy, enthusiasm, and sense of possibility we still feel inside.
Maybe that is what makes these family milestones so meaningful. Watching my nephew celebrate his bar mitzvah reminded me of my own children at that age, and how much life has unfolded since then. Watching my children pack their bags to return to college reminded me that my role as a mother is evolving, too. They need me differently now. Less for the day-to-day details, perhaps, and more for the reassurance that home is always there.
The same is true of aging. We change, our priorities shift, and our lives take on new dimensions. The goal shouldn’t be to resist every change, but to embrace the ones that help us grow while thoughtfully addressing those that make us feel less like ourselves.
There is, of course, something wonderfully ironic about being a plastic surgeon who spends so much time contemplating the passage of time. My profession is often associated with trying to turn back the clock. But I would argue that real art is learning to move forward with it. A facelift cannot return us to our twenties, nor should it. A beautifully performed procedure can restore definition, soften the visible effects of aging, and help someone approach the next chapter with renewed confidence. But the wisdom, the memories, the children growing up, and the milestones along the way are what give those years their value.
By Sunday evening, the bar mitzvah festivities had ended, and my home was a little quieter. I was proud of my nephew, proud of my children, and just a little nostalgic for the days when everyone was younger and the next milestone seemed very far away. But then I reminded myself of something I often tell my patients: the goal is not to go backward. It is to look forward and feel good about what comes next. That is what makes plastic surgery so powerful. It is a restorative way to help you move forward in life, mark the passage of time, but look in the mirror and feel great about the way you look and feel. A little bit of Botox, a touch of filler, a lift or a tuck or a little suctioning can go a long way to help you feel your best in these moments.
Life, after all, isn’t measured only in years. It is measured in milestones, in celebrations, in goodbyes, in reunions, and in all those ordinary moments that we don’t realize are extraordinary until they have passed. And if this weekend taught me anything, it is that time moves quickly, but what a privilege it is to have so much worth celebrating.
At Preminger Plastic Surgery, we are committed to educating our patients and providing personalized care tailored to their unique needs. For those considering plastic surgery, we offer guidance every step of the way to help you achieve your aesthetic and wellness goals. Dr. Preminger is a board-certified plastic surgeon with degrees from Harvard, Cornell, and Columbia.
For more information or to schedule a consultation, please visit PremingerMD.com or call 212-706-1900. Follow us on Instagram @premingerplasticsurgery.
