Good And Bad Envy

By: Rav Reuven Taragin

As we have seen, the fourth perek of Avot identifies three traits that “take a person out of the world” (4:21). The first of these is kinah, jealousy. Although the Torah does not expressly prohibit jealousy, it shows how jealousy leads to sin and diverts people from their intended path in this world.

The Torah makes this point in its first parashah, Bereishit. The serpent persuaded Chavah to eat the forbidden fruit by claiming it would make her like Hashem. Rather than being content with being created in Hashem’s image, humanity was led to covet G-dliness and to sin in pursuit of it.

Kinah played an even more central role in man’s subsequent transgression: murder. Jealous of his brother and his successful korban, Kayin murdered Hevel. Kayin’s jealousy not only led him to commit murder but also resulted in his own removal from this world when he was later killed.

Kayin was not the last person to sin out of jealousy. Kinah motivated Yosef’s brothers to plan his execution and ultimately sell him into slavery. It also prompted Korach to rebel against Moshe and Aharon, resulting in his removal from this world when the ground swallowed him.

Beyond death and punishment in the next world, jealousy removes a person from this world by consuming him internally. Shlomo HaMelech describes kinah as causing one’s bones to rot (Mish. 14:30). Instead of appreciating personal blessings, a jealous individual fixates on perceived deficiencies and experiences frustration. Kohelet further describes this internal decay: “He eats his own flesh” (Koh. 4:4–5). The individual becomes preoccupied with others rather than focusing on his own reality.

Given the severity of kinah, we must consider how to avoid it. Like desire, jealousy is an emotion. How can we quell it?

The Ibn Ezra (Sh. 20:14) points to faith as a solution. Jealousy arises from desiring what others possess. A villager does not desire the princess because he recognizes that marrying her is inappropriate. Similarly, we should remind ourselves that Hashem grants each individual what is intended for them. What others have suits them, not us. Realizing this can help prevent feelings of jealousy.

The Bnei Yissaschar (Igra D’Kallah 174a.) uses this idea to explain the Zohar’s (3:78b) assertion that the prohibition of Lo Tachmod closes the Aseret Hadibrot because it encompasses all other mitzvot. Observing mitzvot reflects our faith in Hashem; the prohibition of Lo Tachmod exemplifies that faith.

Chazal encourage us to be sameach b’chelko (Avot 4:1). According to Rashi, the vav in chelko signifies Hashem: “His portion.” We are urged to find contentment in our portion by recognizing it as Divinely allocated. Our circumstances are not random; Hashem determines and provides what we require. True satisfaction arises from understanding that what we possess is exactly what we are meant to have.

We express this recognition in the berachah of Sheasah Li Kol Tzarki, in which we thank Hashem for already providing everything we require, the portion suited to us. Rav Elimelech Biderman notes that this blessing was originally recited when putting on shoes (Ber. 60b). The sensation of a well-fitting shoe serves as a metaphor for our portion in life: it must be tailored to our needs. Just as an oversized shoe is useless, we should not desire a portion greater than what is appropriate for us.

Although envy and jealousy are generally destructive and problematic, they can be positive and constructive in certain contexts. Kinah is, in fact, necessary for the world’s survival. As the Midrash states: “Were it not for jealousy, the world would not subsist, because man would not marry and build a home” (Midrash Teh. 37). This necessity explains why Hashem instills jealousy within us.

Kinah is also significant for religious and spiritual growth. Chazal give the example of kinat sofrim, the jealousy scholars feel toward one another, which generates increased wisdom (B”B 21a). Jealousy toward other scholars or schools inspires people to further develop themselves.

This raises the question: When is jealousy detrimental and when is it beneficial?

Chazal answer this through their commentary on Rachel Imeinu. The Torah states that she was jealous of her sister, Leah, who had given birth to four children (Ber. 30:1). Chazal explain that Rachel was not jealous of Leah herself or her children, but of the good deeds Leah had performed to merit them (B”R 71:6).

We should not envy the gifts that Hashem grants to others. Instead, we should aspire to emulate the wise decisions and good deeds that others perform to merit these blessings. This form of jealousy is constructive when it motivates us to act similarly.

This was Hashem’s message to Kayin, who was jealous of Hevel’s successful sacrifice: “If you improve yourself, you will be lifted up, but if you do not improve, sin crouches at the door” (Ber. 4:7). When confronted with another’s success, we have two options for channeling our jealousy. We can either resent the other’s success and Hashem for helping him, or strive to become more worthy of Hashem’s blessings by improving our own actions.

Ideally, we should direct jealousy toward accomplishments truly worthy of admiration. Mishlei articulates this by encouraging us to envy yirat Hashem rather than sinful behavior (23:17). That which we envy ultimately shapes our aspirations.

May we learn to celebrate and aspire to emulate valuable traits such as yirat Hashem, and may we strive to attain them ourselves. n

In memory of my mother, Mrs. Susan Taragin (Shulamit Bat HaRav Shmuel Tzvi z”l). 

Rav Reuven Taragin is the Dean of Overseas Students at Yeshivat Hakotel and the Educational Director of the World Mizrachi. His new book, Essentials of Judaism, is available at rabbireuventaragin.com.