Musings Of A Shliach From Montana

Chavie and the women at Arts on Fire

Rabbi Chaim’s Kabbalah of Meaning class

The Northern Lights from our back porch

I believe I may have shared this anecdote a few years ago.

A shliach came to New York from Australia for a yechidus, a private audience, with the Rebbe, zt’l, and the Rebbe inquired as to whether he and his wife were planning to host a seminar on taharas haMishpacha(family purity) as they had in previous years. The shliach replied that they decided against it since the previous year when they hosted it, only one woman joined the event.

The Rebbe responded emphatically, “Moshe Rabbeinu hut gehat nor eyn Mamme.” (Moshe Rabbeinu had only one mother.) The message was loud and clear: Don’t underestimate the power of interacting with even one Jew or Jewess since you never know what may inspire them. If you inspire even one woman to use a mikvah, you never know what will be the result.

I thought about that story because two weeks ago, I wrote about our Montana Mikvah project and Baruch Hashem, many of you responded generously (It’s going strong with $76,000 still needed). Yet, a few of you asked, “How many people use the mikvah?” I don’t mind the question and certainly don’t mind giving the stats, but it got me thinking because I’ve been trained to focus on the quality and the individual and not on the quantity. It’s not about the masses, but about the individual neshamah.

Jewish life today too often turns into a numbers game. How many attended the Mir dinner? How many shluchim are there at the Kinus? How many kids are in this particular summer camp? How many Jews came to the Kosel for Birkas Kohanim on Chol Hamoed? How many at the Siyum HaShas?

While numbers are anecdotally interesting, it should never be about the numbers or the size of the building. We are taught that Adam was created as a single human being so every human after him would internalize that the world was created solely for them as an individual. Each person has infinite value to their Creator.

To live with an individualistic mentality, it’s vital to separate ourselves from the noise of the world, the news, the internet, politics, and all the Jewish gossip. All this noise plagues our hearts and minds, which are incapable of consuming so much, which distracts us and keeps us from being truly present. It’s the inner work of living in the moment, focusing on our personal bond with Hashem, which allows us to see the blessings that are happening right now.

Last week, Montana was blessed to see the Northern Lights, and at 6:30 p.m., we saw it from our back porch! It was beyond amazing. Suddenly, the government shutdown, the war in Israel, the Mamdani issues—all of it was gone, and it was just us appreciating Hashem’s beauty, something we can only experience when we are present in the moment with no distractions, nothing to get in the way of Hashem’s berachot in small, everyday moments.

Chavie hosted a women’s event last Monday, where they come together to do something fun and learn about the parashah and other timely Jewish matters. This time, they had a small, intimate group for an “Arts on Fire” event of socializing, pottery, Jewish learning, and togetherness. Could there be more attendees? Sure, but why should that be the thought process instead of the fact that in Bozeman, Montana a small group of fired-up Jewish women gathered to celebrate a common love for their faith and community. I am very blessed that the current JLI course I’m teaching, “The Kabbala of Meaning,” has thirty enrolled students from across Montana who are learning what it means to live with meaning, and even more importantly, what it means to live with purpose. But I’ve taught JLI courses with only eight students and wasn’t deterred because if eight chevra are learning about Torah and mitzvos, it’s priceless.

It’s about souls, not statistics.

This week’s parashah is Toldos, a tough parashah to read when one is experiencing infertility. Yitzchak and Rivkah experienced infertility for a while and then merited twins, Esav and Yaakov, which brings up a lot for those struggling with the issue. Even the name itself, “Toldos”, which means “offspring,” is very hard for the thousands of couples dealing with all forms of infertility. Sometimes when I reflect on our infertility, I feel sad, angry, and disappointed, but then I remember the tremendous berachah that Hashem has given us with five perfect adopted children and I am comforted because each one is a gem and makes my life complete. While they are not the same, adopted children are a tremendous berachah that enriches our lives beyond measure. Yes, as parents, we are truly blessed, and by focusing on the berachos of Hashem, we are able to fully be present in the moment and enjoy the blessings of our lives.

In this week’s parashah, we read that Yaakov was cooking a pot of lentils and Esav came home starving. Yaakov then sold the lentils to Esav for his birthright. Yet, why was Yaakov cooking the lentils in the first place? Yitzchak and Rivkah were well off, with many servants and cooks. Why would the master’s son not just ask them to cook his dinner? The Midrash HaGadol says that Yaakov Avinu would come home late from the beis midrash and he could have awakened the household staff to make his meals, but he didn’t because he was humble and had no problem doing it himself.

I think too often we are disconnected from the real world when we are constantly being serviced and don’t spend enough time in the trenches getting to know the average blue-collar working man. It doesn’t matter how wealthy one is or how many people work for us, it’s important to sweep the floor, make a bed, cook a meal, water a plant, shlepp a box, call customer service, and this certainly applies to spending time with family. Nannies and mothers’ helpers are nice, schools can be a great way to get a break, but spending time with our kids should not be seen as a burden but as a zechus, a berachah, an opportunity.

I admit that on some days, I’m better at this than on others. But I do take my kids to their after-school stuff, I take them to the public library, and I’m home for dinner every night, no matter how busy I am, unless I’m out of town. We can all grow and do better, but I spend a lot of time with my kids, and I believe it benefits them immensely. This past Motzaei Shabbos, I did this on steroids, and it was hard, but seeing Menny so happy and grateful was really special.

We live in a college town with Montana State University less than three miles from our house. They have a pretty good football team, the Bobcats, and they almost always play on Shabbos, which is why we’ve never attended a game. This week, they were playing UC-Davis, and I believe it was broadcast on ESPN, so they set kickoff time to 8:30 p.m. when Shabbos ended at 5:40 p.m. I don’t know the game; I don’t understand it; I’m not a sports guy, and I tend to go to sleep between 9 and 10 p.m., not 1:00 a.m.! So, this sports stuff is nowhere on my to-do list, but I knew Menny would be in “sports heaven.” So, when a dear friend and shul member offered us tickets, I spent five hours attending this event with my son.

I still don’t know how it works; I still don’t understand why adults scream at players and refs who can’t hear them, and I don’t know why it must take so long, but Menny enjoyed every second, literally. I could have been with my colleagues at the Kinus in New York, but seeing Menny’s face and energy during the game, I knew that was exactly where I needed to be: focusing on the berachah in front of me and not overthinking the “bigger picture,” the overarching issues that don’t really affect me directly and over which I have no control. I could have asked someone in the community to take him to the game, but then Menny and I would not have had such valuable father-son time and the moment would have been lost. Like I said, it’s priceless. It’s about souls, not statistics. n

Rabbi Chaim Bruk is co-CEO of Chabad Lubavitch of Montana and spiritual leader of The Shul of Bozeman. For comments or to partner in our holy work, e-mail [email protected] or visit JewishMontana.com/Donate.