Ode To Joy
There is an emotion called happiness. There is also a state of mind called happiness. There is also a modus vivendi described as happiness. Those three classifications may have something to do with our trouble in actually finding happiness.
Every subjective state of experience is by definition something that varies with each individual. This makes it difficult to quantify what happiness is or to identify with accuracy who is happy. Sadly, many of us do not have a useful means of determining if or when we are happy. Part of this difficulty is that we are busy people and do not always monitor our internal experience, often because we are under stress and the subsequent feelings produced by our stressful lives seem to block out happiness. This may be, in part, because our Jewish tradition is replete with important reminders that we are in exile, that our holy places are still in ruins, and that we must set limits on our joyful experiences and overt joyful displays. I think that another part of this, and what may be the most significant part, is that we ourselves do not really have a working definition of that emotion we call happiness and all it includes.
The English language contains numerous synonyms for happiness, each with its own nuance (if you’re into etymology and word meanings). We have words such as joy, mirth, elation, euphoria, and glee, yet most of us seldom declare that we are feeling gleeful, mirthful, elated, or euphoric. At best, we might assert that we are pretty happy. Or unhappy. Or we might dismiss any recognition that we feel anything at all. In our Holy Tongue, we have several words that are associated with happiness. We have simcha, we have sasson, and of course gila,rina, ditza, and chedva, although we seldom declare that we’re feeling those latter four other than to use them as female names.
We have some Biblical references to happiness. The word simcha shows up in reference to some of the sacrificial offerings and our serving Hashem. We are chastised for not serving Him with simcha. We sometimes wish people “chag sameach,” happy holy day. Some sing a lively tune whose lyrics claim that it is a great mitzvah to always be “b’simcha.” We also have admonitions not to fill our mouths with glee while in exile. The Mishnah states that during the month of Av we decrease our simcha. And during the month of Adar, we increase our simcha.
Halacha at times does quantify or objectify the ways in which simcha can be demonstrated. It might involve things that we should purchase, or give to others, or steps we might take in order to add a celebratory quality to what we’re doing. Whether it should be accompanied with a smile, a laugh, a pleasant demeanor, or simply a behavioral display seems harder to regulate. I have surveyed my fellow Orthodox Jews about their state of happiness. Some will respond to the question “Are you happy?” or “When are you happy?” with the dystopian Orwellian response, such as “When I’m not unhappy then I am happy.” I have, at times, heard the reply, “It is forbidden to be happy while in exile.” I have also heard decent people responding that “Happiness is not important.” I remember when one of my closest friends in yeshiva got married, the first of our group to do so. Some months later, we met and I asked with a smile if he was happy and he shot back: “Happiness has nothing to do with being married.” That left me pondering the possible message he was communicating.
Adar has arrived. Our Sages do indeed declare that with the onset of Adar, our simcha increases. I will return to my opening query: is simcha an emotion? Is it a state of mind? Is it a modus vivendi, a way of life? An emotion is usually fleeting, temporary and comes in response to some event or stimulus. Simcha as a state of mind is a deeper psychological experience that usually involves contentment, calm, and a positive frame of mind regarding one’s encounters and interactions. Simcha as a way of life is more of a disposition or temperament, involving optimism, hopefulness, being considerate of others, and seeking to promote good feelings in others. In a forthcoming article I will offer some psychological tools for cultivating simcha in your life.
Rabbi Dr. Dovid Fox is a forensic and clinical psychologist, and director of Chai Lifeline Crisis Services. To contact Chai Lifeline’s 24-hour crisis helpline, call 855-3-CRISIS or email [email protected]. Learn more at ChaiLifeline.org/crisis.
