They Also Serve Who Only Stand And Wait

By: Rabbi Dr. Dovid Fox

I noticed some time ago that restaurants no longer have waiters and waitresses. Although the terms have been used for over 400 years, the trend has now emerged to refer to them as “servers.” There are a few theories as to how and why that change occurred, but generally it’s more accepted in American restaurants to be introduced to your server, rather than your waiter or waitress. This change in terminology may be related to the shift from saying stewardess to “flight attendant.” I accept both terms. Yet, when I first heard the term “server,” I immediately thought of the saying by the poet John Milton (who lived coincidentally at the time the term “waiter” first emerged), which appeared in his poem, “They also serve who only stand and wait.” There, I mused, is a humorous reason to call waiters servers. They wait tables but they also serve food. Waiters are servers too.

On the other hand, there’s an earlier source for this notion. In the first book of Shmuel, [1 Samuel 30:24], we learn of the soldiers of Dovid Hamelech. The passage describes how he sent two thirds of his men to battle and one third to guard the camp and its supplies and equipment. When it came time to distributing compensation to the army, he paid an equal share to those who guarded the camp as to those who fought in battle. Those who waited behind were also serving in the army for their role was essential to the warriors, who needed a camp to return to with its equipment and supplies intact. This, I concluded, illustrates the adage of “they also serve who only stand and wait.” There are those who serve in battle and those who serve as sentries, guards, and as a reserve presence. They who stay behind and wait off the battlefield serve the army in that manner. Those who wait are also serving.

I then thought about my great rosh yeshiva, Rav Simcha Wasserman, z’l, whose yahrzeit we just observed. He once spoke to a large audience of Jewish adults in an auditorium, and in his loving manner, quoted the Chofetz Chaim, Rabbi Yisroel Meir Kagan, zt’l, the rebbe of Rav Elchonon Wasserman, Hy’d, who was my rosh yeshiva’s father. Rav Wasserman explained how every Jew is a member of “the army of Hashem” in the sense that we all have our tasks and talents and each one of us serves our own role in this metaphoric “army.” Each of us presents his or her skills and strengths to the world, and makes our contribution to our religion as well. When he finished his remarks, a man in the audience introduced himself as the ordained spiritual leader of a non-observant Jewish movement who rejected the authenticity of Torah and of tradition but nonetheless demanded parity within the broader rabbinate. The man said to Rav Wasserman in front of the audience, “If every Jew is part of G-d’s army then my denomination is also part of His army. According to you, don’t we also belong and have a role in this army?” Always tactful and honest, Rav Wasserman replied, “Yes, you are part of this army. You are the deserters.”

These last few months have left world Jewry in deep thought. We watch the changing culture, looking to see who are the steadfast friends of the Jewish people and who have emerged as our critics and adversaries. More Jewish people are now speaking about relocating, drawn to other regions, remote areas, distant countries and, of course, Eretz Yisrael. Some have picked up and moved. Some are studying options. The rest are staying put, placing faith in either Heaven or in the Diasporic status quo, hoping for the best. The existential challenge is also a theological one: which “army” are we a part of? How shall we serve Hashem at this cataclysmic time in our nation’s history? And while we are waiting (for Moshiach, for yeshuas) are we also serving? Or as Milton actually wrote, do we only stand and wait? n

Rabbi Dr. Dovid Fox is a forensic and clinical psychologist, and director of Chai Lifeline Crisis Services. To contact Chai Lifeline’s 24-hour crisis helpline, call 855-3-CRISIS or email [email protected]. Learn more at ChaiLifeline.org/crisis.