Undesirable Desire

By: Rav Reuven Taragin

As we have seen, Pirkei Avos (4:21) identifies three drives that “take a person out of this world”: jealousy, desire, and honor.

Among these drives, desire is unique in that, in certain forms, it constitutes an explicit Torah prohibition. Although desire is a mere emotion, the Aseret Hadibrot prohibit it when misdirected (Sh. 20:14).

Physical desires are powerful, as Hashem instills them to motivate our essential behaviors such as eating and cohabitation. Although these self-supporting activities are necessary, we must ensure that their pursuit does not result in prohibition, excess, or obsession with physical pleasure.

The first transgression in human history was motivated by desire. Conflicted between Hashem’s commandment not to eat from the Eitz Hadaas and the serpent’s persuasion, Chavah let the fruit’s desirability determine her choice. She reasoned that if the fruit was desirable, it must be appropriate to consume (Ber. 3:1-6).

This initial sin exemplifies the underlying motivation for many transgressions. Desire compels us to seek prohibited objects or pursue permitted pleasures through forbidden means. Addiction constitutes an extreme manifestation of this tendency wherein people develop an overwhelming compulsion for pleasure that leads them to violate prohibitions in order to satisfy their desires, even temporarily.

For this reason, the Torah (Dev. 21:18-21) prescribes the death penalty for the rebellious son. Although his immediate transgression is the theft of his parents’ money to purchase meat and wine, his addiction to physical pleasure will ultimately culminate in criminal behavior (San. 72a). Even though he has not yet fully embarked on this path, the Torah regards this trajectory as inevitable, thereby warranting the severe measure of capital punishment at an early stage. This underscores the profound danger and addictive nature of unchecked desire.

Desire also causes us to yearn for things we don’t actually need. The Jews in the desert exemplified this tendency. Although they had constant access to manna, which met all their nutritional needs, they nevertheless complained about it.

Their desire for variety led them to describe themselves as “dried out” by the manna (Bam. 11:4-6). Hashem instills in people a need for novelty, meant to inspire the pursuit of new forms of Torah, mitzvot, and personal growth. But desire can misdirect this need toward new types of physical pleasure. Rather than renewing spiritual pursuits, we can become preoccupied with new forms of physical pleasure.

Desire can also cause us to become overly focused on the physical or to even overindulge in it. Onkelos (Sh. 20:13) hints at this in his formulation of the prohibition against adultery as “Lo tigof,” which translates to “Do not be bodily.” Part of the problem with an adulterer is an obsession with the physical. When marital relations are expressed in a manner that undermines the institution of marriage, it represents physically taken out of context.

A focus on physicality is problematic even when directed toward permissible actions and pursuits. The Ramban (Vay. 19:2) identified this concern as the essence of the mitzvah of “Kedoshim Tihiyu.” The Torah prohibits only those actions which are inherently problematic in all times, places, and circumstances. These prohibitions leave room to live a hedonistic lifestyle, characterized by overindulgence in eating, drinking, and gashmiyus or by inappropriate behavior.

We are meant to achieve holiness by living lifestyles modeled after our Creator, Hashem. Just as Hashem transcends the physical, we should focus on the spiritual by separating ourselves from the physical.

For this reason, the Rambam (Tesh. 7:3) identifies the pursuit of food and money as negative traits from which individuals should distance themselves as part of the teshuvah process. While sustenance and financial resources are necessary for survival, problems arise when these needs evolve into desires that prompt excessive pursuit or obsession, ultimately becoming the focus and perceived purpose of our existence.

In the introduction to his magnum opus, Mesillat Yesharim, the Ramchal identifies this challenge as the primary one we face in this world. True pleasure and ultimate meaning are found in the next world. This world is a mere corridor through which we pass, and in which we prepare to merit entry into the next world by focusing on appropriate goals and pursuits. The principal tests and challenges arise from worldly pleasures, which can divert our attention from Avodat Hashem and spiritual growth.

The issue with desire extends beyond actions; it motivates our very thoughts as well. Chazal teach that contemplating sin is more problematic than the act itself (Yoma 29a). The Rambam (M’N 3:8) explains that such thoughts contaminate our most Divine aspects: the thoughts and emotions residing in the sanctuary of our heart and soul.

Thoughts constitute the most intimate aspect of identity, reflecting our aspirations and essential character. They are intended to concentrate on the meaningful dimensions of our existence. When dominated by desire, however, our thoughts become preoccupied with sin and physicality.

Although many forms of desire are problematic, the Aseret Hadibrot specifically prohibits coveting what belongs to others. This particular form of desire is included in the first of the three drives identified by the Mishnah in Avot: jealousy.

A future piece will, iy’H, address this type of desire within our discussion of the broader context of jealousy. 

In memory of Reuven’s mother, Mrs. Susan Taragin (Shulamit bas HaRav Shmuel Tzvi z’l).

Rav Reuven Taragin is the Dean of Overseas Students at Yeshivat Hakotel and the Educational Director of World Mizrachi. His new book, Essentials of Judaism, is available at rabbireuventaragin.com.