What’s In A Name?

At a Chassidic wedding recently, I gave my congratulatory berachah to the father of the groom and then to his son. Scores of men were milling around, almost all of them from the same sect as the father and son, and I spoke with some of them, observed the rest of them, and was glad that I had flown across the country to participate in the simcha of this family. The father considers himself a talmid, a student of mine because he trained for many hours under my tutelage to provide crisis intervention within his insular community. He is now one of my finest first responders, a title from which this weekly column gets its own title.

At a certain point I heard the noise level drop and looked at the entranceway. An older rabbinic figure was making his way slowly into the crowd, which parted for him until he sat down at the head of the chassan’s table. A moment later, my “talmid” approached me and said with all genuineness: “I have two rebbes. You are one, and this is the other one.” I asked him who his Rebbe was, and after telling me, he informed me that he wanted to introduce us. As it turned out, his Rebbe had encouraged him to take my training course, and my student was now keeping him abreast of our work. Apparently, this Rebbe had great faith in the field of mental health and its ability to do good, and he had great faith in the work we do in Chai Lifeline’s Crisis Department. He had encouraged and supported our work of offering crisis intervention training for his Chassidim so they could support and assist those who struggle with trauma and pain.

My talmid led me to the head table and graciously introduced me to his Rebbe. I nodded, took his outstretched hand, and nodded again as he greeted me in Yiddish. I responded by stating my name: David Fox. He looked at me quizzically, probably unfamiliar with the name Fox. Recalling that these were Chassidim hailing from central Europe, I rephrased my pronunciation, echoing the way that my own Chassidic mentor, the Rebbe of Savraan (Rav Yissachar Dov Hager, zt’l, the Av Beis Din in Jerusalem) had pronounced my name when I served as a dayan on his beis din. “Duvid Fooks.” Even today when I am on the beis din in Jerusalem, the dayanim call me Rav Fooks. Meanwhile, sitting at this table in Brooklyn, this Rebbe looked at me, seeming puzzled. It is then that I realized that there was still a different way in European Yiddish to pronounce my name, more typical of the dialect used by this particular sect. Duvid Fix.” My talmid told him that I was “ah rav un ah doktor” (basic Yiddish for a rabbi and a doctor) and I was pretty sure that this time, the elderly man would grasp my last name. “Duvid Fix.” To my amusement, this time, the Rebbe smiled at me and said (in Yiddish) “Dr. Fix because you fix people.”

The times have changed in many ways, and perhaps in a few ways, they have changed for the better. Chai Lifeline Crisis has teams in communities across the globe. A great deal of my time involves flying to places in need of culturally-appropriate and religiously-sensitive men and women who are trained to provide care when tragedy strikes. We have trained staff in Europe, England, South America, Canada, Australia, and of course across the United States. In each community, we have developed the confidence of the local rabbinate because we speak their language both literally and figuratively. Our first responder interventionists can be there for children, adults, families, schools, and synagogues when a major life crisis has impacted their functioning and wellbeing. A growing element of our intervention teams are part of the Chassidic world. Although many of them remain relatively insular and keep to themselves and to their traditions and standards, they have learned to appreciate and utilize tools and techniques that are the product of modern scientific study. The first responder interventionists are generally not licensed clinicians or professionals and they know their limitations. But when an emergency affects their community, they are equipped to send mental health professionals to those in distress with focused intervention that will make them feel safe, understood, and able to compose themselves so they can function clearly and capably in short order.

I do not know if I am really “Dr. Fix,” but I know that our volunteers are first responders because they respond first and they can mitigate suffering for those in need, then they are truly first class. n

Rabbi Dr. Dovid Fox is a forensic and clinical psychologist, and director of Chai Lifeline Crisis Services. To contact Chai Lifeline’s 24-hour crisis helpline, call 855-3-CRISIS or email [email protected]. Learn more at ChaiLifeline.org/crisis.