Where Dignity Lives

By Malkie Gordon Hirsch Magence

It’s been a minute. Or maybe months. But after writing consistently for seven years, this felt like a necessary hiatus.

You might be wondering what I’ve done with my time away, and the truth is, it’s been busy. And I’ve welcomed not having a weekly deadline looming over what is already a hectic week.

For reasons I don’t fully understand, many organizations have reached out over the last several months, and I’ve spent that time getting to know the inner workings of these charities—either by giving of my time or learning about what they do so I can help inform the public that they exist as a resource, should the need arise.

One such organization was UJA-Federation of New York, a name I was familiar with and, at the same time, knew very little about.

When I initially met with staff and volunteers of UJA-Federation, I felt completely out of my element, but quickly got a fast-track education on what they actually do.

And honestly, there should be a list of what they don’t do, because there isn’t much they don’t.

UJA-Federation is a massive funding engine that acts as a central hub, raising and redistributing money to people and causes all over the world.

Among its network of partner agencies is our own Marion & Aaron Gural JCC of Cedarhurst, where UJA supports vital services such as elder care and poverty relief, including food assistance programs like The SHOP, the JCC’s food pantry—the largest kosher food pantry on Long Island.

When I was asked to film videos in The SHOP to show people what it was and how those in need could access it, I had no idea I’d be walking into an actual grocery store.

It didn’t feel like charity.

It felt like normal.

And I realized how rare—and how necessary—that is.

Because sometimes the difference between struggling and stability isn’t a handout—it’s access, dignity, and the ability to choose.

They set out to design a store that would provide those in need with a sense of dignity and sameness to anyone else shopping in a regular grocery store.

They hired a grocery store designer and built shelves stocked not with generic brands kids wouldn’t want to eat, but with the same familiar products you’d find in any local supermarket.

There was baby formula, fridges and freezers filled with chicken and other proteins, fresh produce, and even gluten-free options.

A mother stood in one of the aisles, comparing items the same way any of us would during a weekly shop, and for a moment, there was nothing that set her apart from anyone else. That felt intentional. And it mattered.

In the back offices, group therapy meetings take place, alongside private sessions ranging from support for victims of domestic violence to job training. There’s even clothing, stocked in all sizes, for anyone in need.

Currently, 600 local families each month rely on the support of The SHOP.

At the JCC, there are also extensive programs for the older community, from weekly meetups for Holocaust survivors (and their aides) to home visits designed to ease isolation and loneliness. After-school programs and social opportunities create spaces for connection across generations.

UJA doesn’t do things halfway. With over $300 million raised annually (not including the more than $320 million sent to Israel after 10/7), UJA isn’t just supporting programs like the ones in the Five Towns. It’s quietly powering the infrastructure that makes them possible, both locally and globally.

Which led me to wonder—why here?

Why the Five Towns?

It’s easy to look around at the homes, the cars, the lifestyle, and assume that need doesn’t exist in a place like this. But that assumption would be wrong.

The Five Towns, with all of its abundance, is also a place where chesed is done quietly—and done right.

Where the same community that celebrates big also shows up in big ways, often behind the scenes, without fanfare.

And maybe that’s exactly why organizations like UJA have such a strong presence here, even if it’s a quiet, lesser known one. Because when there is both means and heart, things don’t just get done; they get done properly.

And while The SHOP is what you can see, it’s only one piece of a much larger picture.

UJA’s reach extends far beyond the walls of a grocery store into homes, into our schools, into quiet moments of support that most people will never witness.

Whether it’s helping a family get back on their feet, supporting someone through a crisis, or simply making sure no one is left behind, their work touches lives in ways both big and small.

And maybe that’s the point—because the strongest communities aren’t just built on what’s visible, but on everything happening behind the scenes to hold people up. 

Malkie Gordon Hirsch Magence is a native of the Five Towns community, a mom of five, a writer, and a social media influencer.