Help Wanted

By: Larry Gordon

Somewhere out there my name is on a list that gets passed around, especially among people from Eretz Yisrael who travel to New York and the Five Towns for the express purpose of raising funds.

These are usually men, but occasionally women, who visit homes and businesses to raise funds for some issue that has arisen. I’m sure they’ve knocked on your door or shown up at your office to say hello.

Some are very personable and engaging. I occasionally ask them if I can write about their plight with the objective of increasing their visibility and giving them the kind of credibility and recognition that might open doors for them, or at least persuade people to take the time to hear them out and help them.

Of course, some are just doing their job, which is to raise money for an institution, such as a yeshiva or kollel. Then there are the individuals, usually with big families, who need the money because they’re making a wedding or dealing with a medical issue for which funds are desperately needed.

Meyer Wertzberger walked into my office in Cedarhurst one cold afternoon last week with such a request. I explained to him that we had never met before and it’s becoming increasingly difficult to take on the support of new people because the list of people and charities we help has gotten way too big. So, I asked him if I can use his name and he said it was okay and he gave me permission to share his phone number with our readers.

If I were to describe him, I’d say he was from Williamsburg or Boro Park. So, since it was a more or less quiet holiday week, I asked him what his visit was all about.

He said he was born and raised in Williamsburg and his parents still live there and that is where he will be staying for the next three weeks while he’s in New York. For the last several years he has been living in Tampa, Florida, where some developers are trying to get a nice frum community going. Today, he confirms there are 30 frum families in the community.

One of the stories you hear frequently these days is how some people took their shot in business, but when things don’t work out, they’re left in debt. The odd thing last week was that while I was talking to Mayer, another man whom I’d previously met walked in, but I couldn’t speak to him because Mayer was there. The other gentleman, an Israeli, told me when we met last summer how his business had gone bad and he was in deep debt.

But this is about Mayer and his life in Tampa. The developers there are hoping to create a community of about 2,500 homes in the Orthodox community. That, of course, will take years.

Life in Tampa is good and the weather is usually very good. I mentioned something about the Yankees playing their Spring training games there, but he didn’t understand what I was talking about. Yankees? Spring training? What’s that?

Mayer and his wife have eight boys. Six of them are married and living in New York and the other two are in yeshiva in New York, so Mayer and his wife are in Tampa alone except for when the children and grandchildren visit. Now we arrive at why Mayer was in the Five Towns last week and why he needed some financial assistance.

Boy number 7 is getting married in three weeks in Israel. Why in Israel? I ask. He explains that the kallahis an Israeli so the wedding will be held there. So, he’s in my office and he wants me to tell you this because you might be able to help him. He needs $45,000 to cover all the expenses of the wedding, which are mostly the airfares for the siblings.

Mayer, 53, was in business for many years providing dumpsters and other accoutrements for construction sites. But something went wrong and the business closed.

Fortunately, he and his partner have an investor in Florida and are planning to start up again right after the wedding. Meyer’s phone number is 347-599-7179. If you can help him with his simcha, he’d be very appreciative.

You know, there was a time when all the offices in our building had unlocked front doors and anyone could just walk in whenever they wanted. But the sheer number of strangers who suddenly fling open the doors and present difficult stories has gotten out of hand.

Upon reflection, a dynamic has evolved here over the last 25 years that is both unique and unusual. It seems that from the perspective of the people doing the collecting, once you write them a check, they consider it as if you and he are almost eternally bound in a quasi-partnership moving forward.

An additional odd thing about this unusual dynamic is that if one of those people who you’ve been helping for a decade or more suddenly skips a year, they highlight that fact and consider it a bonus of sorts, like they gave you a break. Others genuinely believe that you should make a contribution for the year they neglected to visit you.

And then there is the matter of giving them less of a contribution than you did the previous year for whatever reason. Let’s say that as far as your charitable dollars are concerned, you are spread just a little too thin. What are you supposed to do—turn folks away? Or do you at least try to give them something?

We’re not talking about large sums of money here, but it all adds up. For example, let’s say you gave a certain person $500 the last few times he visited your office. And then, because it might be a slow time of the year or you had too many visitors on a given day, instead of writing him a check for $500 as in years past, you instead write him a check for $360 or $250.

On the occasion when something like that happens, you can actually sense their disappointment when they glance down at the value of the check, and their shocked reaction is something of a wonder. It’s at times like these that you get a feeling that you are no longer making a charitable contribution, but in fact, coming up short on a debt.

Then there are the times you make a contribution, and the recipient gives you a reaction that almost makes you feel like apologizing.

But at the end of the day, we should all feel thankful that we are not the folks who have to summon up the courage and ignore the discomfort of soliciting people you don’t know for funds while exposing your life story and why you are in the matzav you’re in.

It would be nice if there was a better way to achieve your objective and reach your goals. But for now, there isn’t. So, we’re on that list that gets passed around, especially to all the first-timers who might be down on their luck at the moment.

I can imagine a scenario where whoever maintains that list with our address might be saying to the person who’s planning to go out collecting that the guy in the office might give you a hard time, especially if he doesn’t know you, but at the end of the day, he gives. n

Read more of Larry Gordon’s articles at 5TJT.com. Follow 5 Towns Jewish Times on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter for updates and live videos. Comments, questions, and suggestions are welcome at 5TJT.com and on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.